When Confidence Collides

Chapter 32: Au revoir

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It was Sunday again. The one day that I dreaded every week but one the day that also seemed to come the quickest.

During the week days, I was happy. I was too occupied with drowning myself in work to be thinking about other stuff. I had completed all the paperwork that was supposed to take me two days in just four hours; the pile was taller than my forearm. Calla, Syd, Lucas and even my boss had all expressed their concerns about me overworking myself and burning out. I would hard work all day and if I still wasn't tired once I got home, I would go for a run. So, when it came to sleeping, I would go straight to sleep. It was exhausting, yes, but I was fine.

So, I worked and worked and worked for weeks back-to-back. I did a ton of overtime – working mainly on Saturdays and sometimes even Sundays. Like I said, I didn't mind especially as working overtime meant that my wage was going to be bigger... by a lot. Yay for me. It wasn't necessarily ideal, working so much, but I needed something else to fill my brain otherwise I would have driven myself crazy.

Monday to Saturday I would work but when it came to Sunday's, I had no idea what to do.

I would spend time with Calla mainly. Sydney was always out with Lucas now so Calla and I would have girls' nights, movie days, days where we would just do nothing, blah blah blah. But no matter what we did, I always felt like shit.

I still hadn't heard from Jace.

It was so naïve and truly stupid of me to think that he wouldn't leave me again. That he wouldn't hurt me again. I honestly should have expected it, and I did to a certain extent, but I guess part of me just wanted me to believe that I meant enough to him that he wouldn't want to hurt me again.

But he did. Even after I specifically asked him not to.

He promised. He even fucking promised.

But one thing that has been made crystal clear to me throughout all of this is that people fucking lie – all the time. They'll lie directly to your face; they'll lie to you on social media. Anyone and everyone have the capability of lying to you, just for someone people it's morally wrong. It's obviously not morally wrong for Jace though, is it? Asshole.

It wasn't like I hadn't reached out to him either.

I had called him, sent him text messages – fuck, I even felt worried. It was laughable. To him I must have looked so desperate. But hey, you live and you learn, right?

It was weird though, he felt almost non-existent to me. And one thing that I had never previously noticed is, no matter how close we were, I always felt as if he was... distant. Don't get me wrong, he was there for me and I knew that but there was just something. Like I was always on edge, just waiting for something else to come out about him, or nearly come out like that time with Sky.

Silent expectations in any type of a relationship – whether that be romantic or platonic – are a known killer. It almost felt as if that what was happening with us, but yet I had made it very clear what I expected.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised the little amount of information I knew about him. I didn't know about his past, what he planned to do in the future, his wants out of life. I knew the little things but not the important stuff like what he knew about me.

I had just opened myself up to him and it felt like he was holding back.

But no matter how hard I wanted to forget him, hate him for what he had done, I couldn't. I cared too much for him.