My Soulmate

Part 5: I can't face him

Jimin's P.O.V
Myself and Y/N have arrived at the hospital. We are heading into see Jungkook. I'm really nervous to see him. I haven't seen him since he woke up a couple of weeks ago. I know I wasn't the one that found him. It was Yoongi hyung but I can't look at him without seeing him the way he was. As we arrive at the room, my whole body freezes. I can't do it. I turn to face Y/N.
"I can't do this. I can't go in to that room and see a broken Jungkook sitting there on that bed with a forced smile. That's not my Jungkook. That's not him. I want my Jungkookie back." I say crying as Y/N pulls me into her and hugs me tight.
"Oh Jimin. I know. I know how hard it is seeing someone you love in a hospital bed. It's seems that Jungkook has always been broken. He might fake a smile or pretend to be happy when deep down he is really hurting. I know you miss the old happy, bubbly Jungkook. This is going to sound really bad, but you may never get that Jungkook back." Y/N says to me in a sympathetic voice. I just nod as I lift my head up out of Y/N's shoulder and wipe my tears.
"Jimin, we can always stay for as long as you want. If you want to leave just say okay?." Y/N says to me.
"Okay. Thank you for being with me. I really appreciate it." I reply.
"Jimin, that's what girlfriends are for. I love you and I want to be with you through the hard times and the good." She tells me and gives me a hug.
"Shall we go in and see Jungkook?" She asks me. I nod in reply.
"I will be there right by your side. I'm not going anywhere." She says to me with a reassuring tone.
We walk into the room and Jungkook's face lights up.
"Jimin ssi.." He says to me as he opens his arms for a hug.
I let go of Y/N and head over to him.
"Hey, Jungkook. How are you?" I ask him as I hug him.
"Better now you're here. Are you okay? You seem... nervous around me." He says to me as we pull out of the hug.
Before I could answer him Y/N speaks.
"Boys. Why don't we leave them to have a chat."
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." Jin hyung says.
"We will be outside if you need us Jiminie." Yoongi hyung says as everyone leaves the room.
"Okay. Thank you hyung." I say to him as I move to the bottom of Jungkook's bed. I grab Y/N's hand.
"Can you stay, please? I need you here with me." I say as tears enter my eyes.
"Jimin, of course I will. I said I would. I will stay just here in the corner so you can still see me." She tells me. She walks over to the corner and stays there. I'm not going to lie, I wanted her to come and wrap me in her arms and to pretend this is all just a horrible dream and that I will wake up in her arms any second. But she doesn't. Jungkook starts taking.
"Jimin hyung? What's up? You are worrying me." Jungkook says to me.
"Jungkook, I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't want to come and see you. I couldn't face you. I know I wasn't the one who found you, that was Yoongi hyung. But I can't stop seeing you the way you were when Yoongi hyung found you. Jungkook, I couldn't sleep properly that night. I wouldn't let Y/N out of my sight. I had a nightmare Jungkook. I thought you were dead. I thought you had actually left us and the thought of not having you in the group anymore made me feel physically sick. I was confused, hurt and angry about what you did. Yes what you did was awful and very irresponsible of you. But I don't get why you couldn't come and talk to me. To any of us. We love you Jungkook. We love you so much. We will support you always. You can..." Is all I say before breaking down again for the second time today. Jungkook gets out of bed and moves to my side. He hugs me tightly. All the emotions that I have been holding back for the past couple of weeks I finally release. I didn't realise that Jungkook had been the one that I was seeking comfort from. He was the person that I needed. We stay like this for a few minuets before anyone starts talking. We look up at each other. I check if Y/N is still in the room. She is. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm still here Jiminie. I'm not going anywhere." She tells me as she stays where she is. Jungkook starts talking.
"I'm really sorry that I've made you feel this way hyung. I'm fine. Physically I'm fine apart from this cut. Mentally though, I'm not but I'm getting the help I need hyung. Please don't feel like that anymore. It makes me feel worse about what happened. I'm sorry for not speaking to you or any of the other members. I really am. I just couldn't. I thought that you would all be disappointed in me and make me leave. I didn't want that to happen. I did apologise to my sister, but she never knew how sorry I was. She did forgive me however, but I was never able to forgive myself. I still haven't. That's why I did this. I'm sorry Jiminie, and I know that saying that doesn't make it right or change anything but I promise I will try to forgive myself..." He tells me as he breaks down this time.
"Oh Kookie." I say to him as I wrap my arms around him. I hear the door open and close. I look up and see Y/N has left the room. I don't say anything I just keep Jungkook close to me. Jungkook has now stopped crying.
"Jimin hyung. Could you get Jin hyung for me please? I need him." He says to me.
"Of course I can Kookie. Before I go, please remember that you can always talk to me when you need to. You can talk to all of us." I say to him as I walk out the door.
He nods and just sits on his bed and doesn't move. As I walk out I see Y/N sitting beside Hobi hyung chatting with everyone. I want to know why she left. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it just now. Not until Jin hyung is with Jungkook.
"Jin hyung, Jungkook wants you." I tell him as I approach him.
"Okay thank you for letting me know Jiminie." He says to me as he gets up and walks to Jungkook's room.
I look at Y/N and she gets up and walks towards me. I turn around and walk away. She follows.
"Jimin, if you are mad at me for leaving. I'm sorry." She says to me.
"You promised me that you wouldn't leave Y/N. I needed you." I say raising my voice at her.
"Jimin, I left you because I thought you could be with Jungkook on your own. To give him the comfort he needs. You didn't need me Jimin. You needed Jungkook. I was just there to give you support and when I left you evidently got mad at because that support had left the room. Jimin, if you want to be mad at me, go ahead. I'm going home. Phone me when you have calmed down. Also I'm proud of you for telling him." She says to me as she walks away.
"Bye guys, I will see you later." She says to everyone.
"See you later Y/N." Hobi says to her.
"Jimin, a word please?" Tae says to me as he gets up and makes his way to me.
"Jimin, they way you spoke to her was disgusting. What she said was true. She told me when she left the room. You should be thanking her for staying with you while this was going on. Did she ever leave your side? No, and this is the way you are treating her. Phone her and apologise. NOW!" Tae says to me as he raises his voice.
I feel really bad now for the way I spoke to her. I take the phone from Tae's hand and call her.

Y/N's P.O.V
I can't believe Jimin. The way he spoke to me was really uncalled for. I was with him through all of this. Just because I leave the room to give him and Jungkook some time alone and this is how he repays me. I leave the hospital and head to my car. I don't care how he gets home. As I get to my car I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I get in the car before taking it out. I look at the screen and see Tae's name pop up. I answer it. It's not who I was expecting.

(J - Jimin and Y - Y/N)
*start of phone call*

Y: Hey Tae, what's up?
J: Y/N.
Y: Jimin? What do you want?
J: I wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you.
Y: Okay. So go ahead. I'm listening.
J: Y/N, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to have a go at you. You haven't left my side since all of this began. You have been my rock through all of this. *begins to cry softly down the phone*
Y: The way you spoke to me when you came out of Jungkook's room was unacceptable. I left to give you both some time to be with each other. You were both seeking comfort from each other. So you didn't need me in there.
J: I know that now. I am so so sorry. I will always need you even if it may not seem like it. I love you Y/N. Please don't leave me *sobbing down the phone*
Y: Jimin, where are you? Don't do anything stupid.
J: I'm still on the second floor. J-just away from Jungkook's room.
Y: I'm on my way. Bye Jimin.
J: Bye Y/N.
*end of phone call*

I end the call with Jimin and make my way back to the second floor. I can't hear or see him upset. I don't like it. I get to the second floor and see Jimin being comforted by Tae.
"Hey." I say to them both as I walk up behind Jimin.
"Hey. Jimin why don't you go to Y/N?" Tae asks him.
He leaves Tae's arms and comes into mine.
"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you. I-I can't believe I would speak to the only person that's loved me." Jimin says to me.
"Jimin, it's fine. You've been going through a lot recently and that's understandable. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I love you. I love you so much Jimin." I tell him.
"Jimin, I'm not the only one who loves you. You have the other 6 boys who love you. Both Tae and Jungkook adore you. I adore you Jimin." I tell him. He looks up at me and smiles. I can see well sort of, that he has a few tears in his eyes. I wipe them away before he could cry. I think I would cry if he started crying. I don't really want that to be honest.

*time skip - 1 week Jungkook is now out of hospital.*

Jungkook's P.O.V
I'm getting out of hospital today. I'm so excited to go home. I still have to attend weekly appointments once a week until they know I'm able to 'cope' on my own. It will then be moved to monthly appointments. Hobi hyung is coming to get me in the next few minuets and then sign the discharge papers. While I wait for him to arrive the doctor followed by the nurse comes in to do the last and final checks I will be having as an in-patient.
"Now Jungkook. If you ever feel like that again, please do not hesitate to give your therapist a call. She will answer any concerns you may have about anything day or night." The nurse tells me.
"Thank you." I tell her and she leaves the room. A few seconds later Hobi hyung walks in.
I grab my bags and Hobi hyung takes them from me. We both walk towards reception to get officially discharged and head back home. I sign the papers and we leave the hospital together. The journey home is silent and I can't help but feel like Hobi hyung feels awkward and uncomfortable around me just now. I think it will take time for everyone to be alright around me again. To be able to act normal around me again. We arrive home and the atmosphere is not what it used to be, but that's probably also my fault. I don't like this. I need to talk to them. I don't think I will be able to take it for much longer and I've only been home for 10 minuets.
"Hyungs, we need to chat. Can you please just act normal around me. I get that loads of things have happened since I was last here but I'm getting better. If I'm feeling down I will come to you and let you know. I promise." I say to everyone.
"Jungkookie. We will try to. It's not guaranteed though. Please come to us about anything. We will always listen to you. ALWAYS!!!" Taehyungie hyung says to me. I walk over and hug him, to which he hugs me back.
"Why don't we watch a movie or something before I start making dinner?" Jin hyung suggests.
"I think that's a great idea hyung." Namjoon hyung says back in reply.
We all just sit and watch a movie before we have to start making dinner. It's then just a chilled evening. My best type of way to end the day...