faded🍃

it's friday🍃

"I can't. I have stuff in my system too it won't work." Jayla told Rue honestly. Rue and Jayla still hadn't come home because they knew what was waiting for them the second they stepped foot into their prison.

"Fine. Let's go." Rue said as she began to walk into a different direction. "How the fuck did you even get 'stuff' into your system." Rue asked as they made their way to a neighborhood Jayla knew belonged to Cassie and Lexi.

"Let's not play 21 questions alright." Jayla sarcastically smiled. "You still getting pee from Lexi?" Jayla asked. Instead of answering rue began to run. "What the fuck Rue?!" Jayla screamed before she ran to catch up to her.

As they made it to Lexi's door, Jayla couldn't help but feel guilty. Jayla decided to hide behind the other door as Rue knocked a couple times. Soon enough Lexi opened the door. "Hey Rue." Lexi smiled sweetly.

Lexi's innocent smile made knots form in Jayla's stomach. She didn't deserve to be used by them, but Jayla didn't want to think about what would happen to her if her drug test came out positive.

"Hey can we come. we need a favor..." rue said. Jayla felt so conflicted when all Lexi could say was 'what'. Lexi was being used by someone she trusted. Someone she thought appreciated her presence. Someone who also happened to be an addict. "Like for real"

Then the whispering began. "Are you serious?" Lexi's disappointment clear in her tone. Jayla then revealed herself with a sorry face as Rue said 'please and thank you'. Of course Lexi would run up to her bathroom and pee in a cup for her friends. She was Lexi after all.

"Hey Rue, how was rehab?" Jayla tuned out the entire conversation, before hugging Lexi goodbye as she handed them her urine.
~
"Mom we have to pee" Rue yelled out. And so they went to the bathroom. "I wish we could do this in a way that wasn't a complete invasion of our privacy." Rue said as she pointed in between her and her cousin. Jayla just looked down at her feet, awkwardly.

"You lost your right to privacy when you overdosed." Leslie told Rue. Jayla knew it was pointed towards Rue because no one knew that Jayla ever overdosed.

"That was a mistake" Rue tried to sound convincing.

"Don't be flip Rue." Her mother replied in a stern tone. Rue then asked for her mother to turn around. "You don't understand this was the most frightening moment a mother could witness... and Gia, who idolizes you-" Leslie sounded as if she was on the verge of tears.

"i know mom..." Jayla couldn't listen, Jayla couldn't watch rue. It was all too much.

"To have her find you unconscious." As soon as Leslie said that Jayla couldn't stop the tears from falling. It reminded her of when she had realized Jess wasn't breathing anymore. Oh how she wished her sister was just unconscious.

"Can we just not do this right now." Rue said as she got off the toilet and allowed Jayla to 'pee'. Rue was also crying but she had quickly wiped her tears. Soon Jayla's aunt had put the drug tests in their pee. Of course it was negative.
~
As Jayla finished washing her hands she looked at herself in the mirror. For the longest time she couldn't do it. She couldn't look into the mirror because she always saw her.

Jayla never went to therapy, she never had anyone tell her it was going to be okay or give her advice. She had to fix her shit herself. So when it came to looking in the mirror or taking pictures, in a way she cold turkeyed it.

She dived right into everything. She lied and pretended like she was doing okay and like a piece of her didn't die every time she took a selfie of looked at the pictures of them on the wall.

Sometimes it pissed her off. Having to stay at Rue's house, or when she lived at the boarding school. But one upside were that there were no pictures of her and Jess there.

And she might sound like a bitch for thinking that, but it was the way she grieved. You can't really judge someone for something like that.
~
"Can we sleep over at Lexi's house tonight." Rue then asked her aunt. Leslie looked between her niece and daughter and simply gave them permission.

They walked, Jayla more stable than rue. Jayla had no idea where they were headed. All she knew was that it definitely wasn't Lexi's house. "Yo where the fuck are we going Rue?" Jayla asked her cousin.

Jayla hated the fact that she was much more stable than Rue, because Jayla knew damn well she wasn't anywhere close to stable. So then where the fuck did Rue fit on the scale?

Rue was fucked up in a way Jayla would never want to be. In a way that Jess never was. Jayla truly had no idea how to handle it or take care of her, but she felt like she needed to regardless.

Rue ignored her and continued to attempt walking. That was until Maddy's car came to a stop beside them. "Yo Casper, Jayla wanna ride?" Kat asked from the window. Rue walked towards the car and so Jayla followed.

"Why thank you." Rue said. The car ride was full of Megan the Stallion and smoke and Jayla wouldn't want it any other way.

As they made it to McKay's house Jayla finally remembered it was Friday. The day of the party.

____________