faded🍃

better at hiding it🍃

~Jayla's POV~
    What the fuck even was that party. I sighed looking up at the sky. I didn't know where I was supposed to go, all I knew was it definitely wasn't Rue's house.

     I knew Lexi's house was the safest bet and probably where Rue was. So I walked all the way over to her house almost cross faded and completely confused.

     Lexi let me in of course, but Rue wasn't there. Where the fuck was she? I knew damn well she didn't have any other friends. And she couldn't be stupid enough to leave with a random ass girl.

I had never heard her mention being friends with anyone. I locked myself in Cassie's bathroom and brought out my phone that was hanging on to 10%. I called her three times and they all went straight to voicemail.

     I started to panic. It would be my fault if she overdosed. I tried to catch my breath. It would be my fault if she died. Tears involuntary fell from my eyes. I knew we should've left together. I knew we should've stayed together tonight.

     Gasping for air as i let the phone ring for the fifth time, just for it to go to voicemail again. Sobs came from my mouth and my vision blurred. My heart started to hurt as I asked if Kat or BB saw where she went. Maddy and Cassie didn't answer either but I already knew what they were busy with.

     No one knew where my cousin was and it was all my fault. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. My eyes became heavy and I ended up falling asleep in Cassie's bathroom with a dead phone and my heart felt like it was pressed against my ribs.
~
     The next morning, i freshened up and kissed Lexi goodbye. "I hope you find Rue." Lexi said with a sad smile, I hated that she was so worried.

"Yeah, me too..." I said lowly. As I left her house, I felt completely normal. Excluding all of the things I was feeling because of Rue, I guess crying sobered me up.

The walk back "home" was long, longer than it should've been, but it gave me time to think about what the fuck I would say to My aunt when I got there.

      How was I supposed to explain that I lost her daughter at a party we weren't supposed to go to? Panic started to rise in my chest once again as I got closer to the house.

I couldn't have a panic attack. Not when I was so close. I had to pull my shit together, because if Rue is somehow okay, her mother will kill us both if i show up pathetic and hyperventilating.

     As I opened the door with the spare key my aunt had given me I saw Leslie sitting with Gia at the dining table. Fuck.

     "Hey Jayla, how was it at Lexi's?" My aunt asked sweetly. I didn't know if she still didn't know or if she was being sarcastic. I genuinely  couldn't decipher her tone and that scared me.

     "Lexi's good, she misses Jess though." I said not meeting her eyes. I wasn't lying... Lexi pretends she's fine and she does miss Jess.

      "Don't we all..." my aunt sighed. "Well Rue's upstairs getting her school stuff ready, I recommend you do the same." My aunt smiled.

      I nodded and quickly walked upstairs, ready to beat my stupid cousin's ass. As I opened the door to our room sure enough I saw her there putting notebooks in her book bag.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to make a scene but I knew I couldn't. "What the fuck rue!" I whisper shouted.

   "What?" My cousin asked clueless.

I hated how oblivious she acted after she just did fucked up shit to someone. It made me want to slap her in the fucking face.

           "You didn't tell me where you were, so I literally went crazy last night because I thought you were lying dead in someone's basement. Also why do you owe fez money?!" I whisper shouted at her again.

      "Well, I'm obviously not in someone's basement." She laughed. "I was with my friend Jules and I don't owe him anything. He spots me." Rue explained.

      I rolled my eyes. "You didn't think it would be a good idea to tell me you were with 'Jules." I placed my hands on my hips in attempt to calm my shaking. "Who even is that?"

     "I met her yesterday." Rue shrugged her shoulders carelessly.

       I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jules could've been a fucking axe murderer for all she knows and she just went with her like it was nothing."Yesterday! How are you even more reckless than me?" I asked in disbelief.

      "You're just better at hiding it I guess." She shrugged again. "Now here's your backpack we have school on Monday." She handed me a black backpack and notebooks.

    It was obvious she didn't want to continue the conversation and she was obviously okay, so there truly wasn't a point in stressing out over it. So, I decided to ask another question. "How come you didn't tell me Fez was your dealer?"

         "Didn't think it was that important. But now you know, you can get your shit from him." Rue laid on her bed as she told me.

     I hummed before putting my notebooks in my bag.  "How'd you even meet fez?" She asked me as she watched me put my bag next to hers.

      "The corner store, now whenever I go we talk. It's nothing big really." I decided to just stop asking questions and look through my closet for potential outfits for school.

        "You should go get us some snacks. I bet Gia would appreciate another movie night." Rue said blankly.

   I looked at her, confused. "Uh okay sure. You coming?" I asked, grabbing my wallet.

        "Nah, I'll just set up the movie."

         "Alright, but Rue—please text me..." As those words came out of my mouth she looked up confused. "—like I don't want to act like a mom, but I just want to make sure you're safe."

      "Okay... I'm sorry, now go get the snacks." She said as she threw a pillow at me.

     I threw it back at her with a small smile and let Gia know what we had planned. Gia's eyes lit as she looked up from her phone, glad. I smiled, grabbed my skateboard so I could head out.