DAWNING POINT (AgeTabooRomance)

Chapter 18

Note: I recommend reading Chapter 17 again (updated October 7) to review change in plot detail so this chapter makes sense. Thank you.

Author's Note: To my faithful readers, I hate that it took me this long to update my story. I've had trouble with writers block, writing and re-writing because it didn't feel right, and a lot of personal stuff going on in my life effecting my emotions. I truly hope this longer chapter fulfils your wait. Tell me about it in the comments - they really make my day! - vote and tell your friends if you like it. xx

Thank you for eight thousand views!!!

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The next morning when I awoke, I felt different.

Somehow my body felt lighter than it ever had, the pressure of my wayward feelings not quite as weighty on my bones or my chest. I felt relieved of yesterday's innocence, my distress distant–albeit not diminished–and not so surprisingly, I'd had the best sleep I'd had in an age. 

I'd experimented with pleasure many times before the previous evening having always fallen short, but now I finally knew what it was to fall over the edge. To completely lose myself in the moment. To lose my mind in my body's trance.

And I liked it. I liked it so much.

Long after I opened my eyes to the day, I hardly moved. Heated thoughts danced through my mind as I gazed at the sunlit ceiling, clutching my comforter at the frayed hem over my naked chest.

Last night after I'd washed, dried off and brushed my teeth, I hadn't bothered to put anything on. Instead I'd locked the door and slipped under the sheets, feeling the crisp fabric against my bare skin and the darkness surround me like a shelter. The house remained silent and unmoving beyond me, and I'd pushed into the comfort of my tattered mattress, pulling the sheets tightly around me as the pillow cradled my heavy head.

But I wasn't ready to sleep. I'd hardly had enough.

Feeling the stir of desire spark in my belly again, imagines of Manning, heart throbbingly sexy with his hard, dark eyes and taught body flooded me as I'd worked myself to climax again. And then again, with the moon being my only witness, before falling into a weighty sleep, every part of my being exhausted and spent.

Come the light of day, however, humiliation started creeping in to my conscious. I mean, what was I thinking? How could I degrade myself enough to want that man after how he had behaved? How could I go as far as enjoying myself for him?

How could I touch myself... long for his mouth and his hands on me and allow him my release?

And if getting myself off was supposed to relieve the dampness between my legs that watered every time I thought of his name, it didn't. Because sadly, even after riding the shudders of pleasure that racked my body over and over, I only wanted him more. Bloody bastard...

I was such a fool. I knew that. But for some reason, this morning I just didn't care. I didn't care that everything was wrong with him and me. I didn't care that he pushed me and pulled me until I was dangling by a thread so tight it had me gasping for air.

What was it I said to him last night? You are callous and shallow and cold... And although all of that made sense and every word was true, it couldn't satiate the need building me again.

Arresting. Destructive. Consuming.

Heartless...

I needed to see my friends tonight. I needed to see them for fear I'd lose my mind. I needed out of this house for fear I'd lose my nerve. I needed out of the town for fear I'd hide inside and escape reality again and again, but reality was always there, sober and ready when you stepped outside.