"You should go home, Z. Kei and Dens will never let you go around Jaz. Her brothers still don't know what happened to both of you but if they will, you'll be in trouble. Just give her the space that she needs. She'll get through it, si Jaz pa ba? She's a tough cookie. If her brothers asked you, just told them to ask Jaz na lang kesa ikaw." sabi ni Bea then she left.
I left also then umuwi ako na ko sa bahay. I asked my dad to check on Jaz because she's in the hospital and I told him don't ask me why because I also don't know. When I arrived in our house, dumiretso na lang ako sa room ko then nagpaakyat na lang ako ng dinner. I did my assignments and natulog na ko agad.
Next morning...
"Z? Can we talk?" sabi ni Camille.
"Yeah. I also need to talk to you." sabi ko.
"You first." dagdag ko.
"I'm transferring." sabi niya. What?
"Then? What will happen to us?" sabi ko.
"Ia-arrange marriage daw ako sabi ng dad ko. And I'm transferring to New Zealand." sabi niya.
"What?" sabi ko.
"I'm sorry, Z. I also didn't know. Nalaman ko lang kagabi and I feel that I should've told you. I'm so sorry, Z." sabi niya. I left her at the field and pumunta na ko sa morning class ko. My mind is a mess kaya pumunta muna ko sa field to unwind, di ko na tinapos yung morning classes ko kasi hindi ko rin naman maintindihan. I was wondering kung anong balita kay Jaz so pumunta ko sa office ng dad ko to ask him.
*knock* *knock*
"Come in."
"Dad, anong balita kay Jaz?" tanong ko.
"She's fine. Ba't ba ayaw mong dalawin?" sabi niya.
"Ayaw niya ko makita." sabi ko.
"Huh?"
"She confesses to me kaso nililigawan ko si Camille that time." sabi ko. Hindi naman ako hirap to open up sa parents ko, para ko kasi silang tropa lang sa bahay BUT with discipline pa din naman.
"Do you love Camille?" tanong niya.
"Yes dad, sobra." sagot ko.
"Do you love Jaz?" tanong niya.
"Oo naman dad. Friends na kami dati pa." sagot ko.
"Not that. Romantically. Pag tumitingin ka ba sa kanya, did your heart flutters? Did you smile automatically? Basta masaya siya, masaya ka na rin. Nararamdaman mo ba yung mga ganun?" sabi niya.
"Minsan kaso parang nireremind ako lagi ng mind ko na hanggang friends lang yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya." sabi ko.
"Hay nako ewan ko sayo! Bumalik ka na sa klase mo, may meeting ako ngayon. Mommy mo kausapin mo jan." sabi ni dad. Umalis na ko then pumunta kong hospital to check on Jaz. Sumilip ako sa glass sa may pinto. She's awake. Tumingin ako sa loob ng room niya kung may nagbabantay and buti na lang wala. They don't want to see me here.
*knock* *knock*
"Pasok."
I open the door and tiningnan lang siya sa mata.
"What are you doing here?" sabi ni Jaz.
"Binibisita ka. I'm worried." sabi ko.
"You don't have to." sabi niya.
"Kamusta ka na?" sabi ko.
"I'm fine. You can leave." sabi niya.
"Jaz, let's talk." sabi ko.
"Ano pang paguusapan natin?" sabi niya.
"I'm sorry. I really do. I was blinded by my love for Camille and I haven't seen all the efforts that you made for me. I know I'm such a pain in the ass and I'm a piece of work but please can we still be friends, again?" sabi ko.
"Do you think hindi ko alam? Camille is flying to New Zealand next week and ia-arrange marriage siya kaya she told you to stop. Kaya ba andito ka kasi wala na si Camille? Kasi hindi na siya pwedeng maging sayo? Kasi wala ka nang choice kundi bumalik sa kaibigan mo? Z, hindi ako bahay na pwede mong uwian everytime na nasasaktan ka, everytime na nahihirapan ka na, at everytime na napapagod ka na. Kasi ako? Napapagod din ako, nahihirapan din ako, at nasasaktan din ako." sabi niya.
"I'm sorry. Alam kong ako yung dahilan kung bakit nangyayari 'to satin pero Jaz, hindi. Hinding hindi ko hahayaan masira yung friendship natin. You have a special space in my heart that no one can replace." sabi ko.
"Mas lalo mo lang akong pinahihirapan. Tapusin na natin 'to, Z. Ayoko na masaktan ulit at ayoko na maging kaibigan mo." sabi niya.
"Jaz."
"Z, please leave." sabi niya.
"Jaz."
"Please, Z. I don't want to see you again." sabi niya.
"I'll leave for now. But please Jaz, give me a chance. I'll change, I promise." sabi ko. Lumabas na ko sa room niya.
"Z?"
"Bea."
"Can we talk?" sabi ni Bea. Tumango na lang ako as a response. Pumunta kami sa may vendo machine and umupo sa may bench.
"Did you say sorry?" sabi niya.
"Yes. But she's mad at me." sabi ko.
"Just give her the space that she needs. There's a possibility that you can go back to where you used to be and there's a possibility na hindi na kayo bumalik sa dati kaya don't expect." sabi niya.
"I'm still hoping na babalik kami." sabi ko.
"It's better na umalis ka na ngayon Z. Baka makita ka pa ng mga kuya niya dito." sabi niya and tumayo na ko para umalis. Bumalik na ko ng university kasi may mga afternoon classes pa ko.
Days have passed. Weeks have passed. Months have passed yet she still hates me. She still rejects me. Maybe the friendship ended like this. I deserve this, she's there but I never see her.
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