✫彡
in which nova finds solace in an outcast boy who happens to be more similar to her than she first thought.
( the 100 s1 )
( extended summary inside )
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FOR days since that fateful morning, Nova has tried many times to focus on other things. She's even been out hunting more times than she normally would, but to no avail. The flashbacks come at the worst of times, usually when she's with company, and all she wants to do is crawl into a hole and only emerge again once her mind has calmed down.
Although her restrictions are lifted and she's free to leave the village as she pleases, she has only done so once and hasn't wanted to again. She's scared of the mental torture returning if she steps foot out of her boundaries.
A few hours after returning to her village after having tortured Murphy so much that his face was almost unrecognisable, Nova felt compelled to see him one last time, to apologise profusely for her actions that caused him an immense amount of physical and mental pain.
But, the place was desolate, as if nothing had ever happened. The cell gate was wide open, and Murphy was nowhere to be seen.
For a moment, Nova thought she had dreamt it all, that maybe Murphy didn't even exist. Then, she entered the bunker and all she could smell was dried blood and every thought of doubt fell away. As much as her mind was in a state of denial, her nightmare was that of a saddened reality.
She didn't stay long in the cell, only a few seconds, but that was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach, so she swiftly left. A difficult realisation hit her on the way back to her village: she's lost who she always thought she was. Her morals completely disappeared that day, and a void in her heart has been palpable ever since.
She doesn't even recognise herself. All she sees is a monster that puts her individual survival over the life of other people. That night, she threw away her one chance of happiness, all for her own benefit.
"Nova, you ready?"
Lincoln's voice snaps her out of her own mind, her eyes lifting from the ground to meet his as she realises she's involuntarily stopped moving, her feet cemented in the ground.
"Yeah. Let's do this," Nova mumbles, blinking rapidly as she attempts to brush off any suspicion her brother may have. Lincoln shoots her a confused look, but decides against pushing her into talking about her problems. He now knows about her escapades with Murphy, but, as of yet, she hasn't told anyone about what she was made to do to him, or that she's to leave the village after the final battle. She's closed off, but that has been easy to pick up on, though, and her avoidance of Astoria hasn't gone unnoticed by Lincoln or Harlo back at the village. But they know she'll speak to them when the time is right.
Lincoln puts his thumb and index finger to his lips, whistling. At the drop of the signal, a boy appears from the shadows, his figure nearing them by the second. As his jet-black, floppy hair comes into view, Nova assumes this can only be one person.
