Linstead oneshots

DAISIES

nobodies pov:

erin had never bee used to the simple things life like celebrating holidays, receiving gifts or really any other form of childhood normality. it was because of this that she always struggled with receiving gifts, or generally having anyone be kind to her. there was one moment within the last few weeks in which, jay woke up aroused and despite being tired and fed up, she forced herself upon him because she thought it was what he would want. she still wasn't 100 percent used to normality yet, obviously. which is why when she walked into the kitchen to see jay with a bouquet of daisies that she was extremely taken aback...

Erin's pov:

"j-jay! what the-why- wh-", i began, my words completely lost in translation as i had an internal mental breakdown. why was jay standing here, with daisies. i know o told him a while ago that they are my favourite, but i never expected to receive them as a gift, especially not from a boyfriend. "i-i just wanted to get you something... you know, to show you how much i love you", jay announced, the panic and hope evident on his face. i was lost for words. jays explanation had sounded so calm and confident, his tone being self-explanatory, his eyes, however, displayed a look of evident panic. just as i was about to respond, i felt a flurry of memories rush through my mind, distracting me from reality...

Charlie. the pain. the suffering. knife. daisies. dad. bunny. jay. partners. saved. Voight.

i couldn't stop the visions from appearing rapidly before me until i suddenly felt a pair of hands on my upper arms. unsure if the sensation was reality or memory, i began to struggle against the firm grasp, challenging it. "erin, you good?", jays voice shattered through the realm in my mind. the wall of memories shattering and breaking like glass as my soul was returned to reality. i let out a shocked gasp, my vision blurred, though i was unsure if it was from the tears prickling at my eyes or the fact that my mind was dizzied and unsteady. i was shaken to my core by the sudden outburst of memories. i slowly pulled my hand to my head, pacing to the fridge and grabbing a beer. i swallowed the drink in one gulp, grabbing a second and removing the lid with my teeth. i could practically feel jays eyes burning holes into my back as he frowned at me. 

i could tell jay thought this was his fault! i wanted nothing more than to hold him and reassure him, but i couldn't. my mind was still filled with the thoughts of my past and i could barely breathe, let alone comfort jay. i barely whispered, "love you", before walking out the door, leather jacket and beer in hand...

my eyes clenched shut as another wave of pain washed over me. one distinct memory flickered through my mind as i let out a stifled cry...

flashback...

"its so beautiful", i exclaimed, my fingers dancing delicately over the fragile petals of the flower before me. the next thing i knew, Charlie was standing behind me, pushing me to leave. by the time i had realised we were back at his apartment, Charlie shoved me inside the apartment. i was flung at a wall, fists punching violently against my small form. i knew for certain that i would be covered in bruises after this. its sad to say that i didn't see a problem with the events of this day, i was too used to it.

end of flashback...

so, here i sat, on a park bench, drowning in sorrowful memories. i had gone through far worse then abuse, but it still hurt to recall, to know that i once saw that as normal. but now i know one thing, i need to talk to jay. i know i most likely through him off balance from my reaction, but if I'm being honest, i just need one thing, jay to hold me and protect me from the world and the darkness. i was beaten black and blue that day, and sure, it hurt. but i didn't hurt because it was wrong and abusive, but because i knew he would keep me alive. staying in this world is my greatest fear, the one thing i hated most back then. but now, now that's loosing jay; something which i doubt will grow more common with time.