Silence

-8-

I put the car in park and pulled the keys out of the ignition. But what should I do now? I sat in the car that was slowly getting cold with the decision that I had to make. It was either let Simone go or keep him here as my permanent caretaker. If I chose the latter idea, I would never be able to properly enjoy the months that I still have left.

Cursing my lonely life, I slowly made my way out of the car and made sure not to slam the door closed. If he hadn't heard the silent engine of the car then he would surely hear the slam of the car door when I got out. To me, letting Simone move away would be the best for me.

I made it to the short grass on the side of the house quickly, trudging through its thickness with the last rain. I smiled slightly when I saw the window that looked into the living room dark. I let myself in with the spare key that hung on Simone’s car key. When I walked to the living room, I found Simone sitting cross legged on the couch, an imposing frown engraved into his young face.

"Fuck."

"Yeah fuck's right," he responded to me angrily. I visibly cringed at my brother's angry tone of voice. Never in my life had I seen him this angry. The only exception was when he was with his friends and they brought up his ex-girlfriend. Immediately, his face would go from happy to extremely pissed off.

"I'm sorry."

He glared down at me as I tilted my head away to stare at the ground. Never had he been this angry at me but it was for a good reason. "You had better be sorry. Do you know how worried I was about you? I don't know what I would do, you're my only brother, and it's my responsibility as an older brother to keep you out of trouble. You're banned from leaving this house."

I cringed at the sentence, suddenly feeling angry. Never before had Simone tried to dictate my life and I didn't like the sound of it. "What the actual fuck! You can't do that. I'm a grown man, I can do whatever I want, Simone and you're not going to stop me!"

"Do you honestly hear yourself right now? You deliberately took my car without my permission and went to God knows where. You act like the whole world is against you which is bullshit!"

"I bet you can't wait for me to die so that you and everyone else can continue living your picturesque life," I mumbled.

"You see right there? There's your problem. Keep living your life in self pity and keep pushing people away. I am sure when you're fucking dead and six feet under, no one's ever going to remember you. I'm so tired of your bullshit, I can't wait to finally leave so that you're able to die alone like you've always dreamt of."

"You and your stupid ways. Always acting like you're the only one with problems in this world,"
Letting out an exasperated breath, he pushed himself from the couch and stormed out of the room, slamming his bedroom door behind him. I had never known my brother to be this venom and hateful. I even didn't get to tell him about the parking ticket that I had received.

"He didn't mean…” I began to ramble, astonished and stunned. How could he say that?

My body trembled as I struggled to breath in. I suddenly felt like I was being strangled by my sweater. I choked and saliva spilled from my mouth, wetting my chin. Tears gushed from my eyes, still not believing what Simone had said. His raspy voice cut into my thoughts.

I am sure when you're fucking dead and six feet under, no one's ever going to remember you. I'm so tired of your bullshit, I can't wait to finally leave so that you're able to die alone like you've always dreamt of.

I swallowed hard, fighting away the tears. I buried my head in my palms, trying to calm myself down. Another shudder rocked my body as I let out a low groan. I was in a heart-wrenching agony. It felt like my soul was being melted away, every nerve in my body cried in torment, leaving a heaving tortured piece of flesh.

I sat myself on the couch, feeling myself getting weak. As I brought my hands down, I began to lose consciousness. With the world fading away, with only darkness for comfort.

"No..." The desperation in my own voice grew as I slowly slumbered into the couch.