Of Tea...and Things

A Sewing Lesson

So much for her Best Dress, thought Miss Iris wistfully, really, she should have been allowed to go home and change, for one was NEVER executed in her Best Dress, the Standards were quite clear on that point, but then her third best dress was an utter ruin after the incident with the minotaur, and that was the only acceptable alternative in such situations, Society might well be so offended that they'd call for her head, again. She grinned at this, wondering whether her unseemly demise or her scandalous attire was likely to set more tongues wagging. For her first adventure, it hadn't turned out half bad, save that she still had no idea what she was doing. If this was death, it certainly felt an awful lot like her life of late, and haunting this wretched forest wasn't exactly something she had thought of as even a short-term career, let alone an eternity. But then she wasn't exactly a disembodied spirit either. And there was her coach and driver, waiting patiently as ever, she grinned in spite of herself and boarded the vehicle, smiling in anticipation of her next adventure; this was starting to be fun!

Things...mused Iris as the coach rattled along en route to who knew where, if only she knew more about Things her life would make so much more sense, or so she hoped, but she had a nagging suspicion it wouldn't. At least she knew more about Things now than the average man was wont to know, which surprisingly was actually less than the average woman, even though Society worked overtime to make sure women were kept as ignorant and flighty as possible, lest they accidentally take over the world. Now there was a thought, what if an Empress should arise rather than an Emperor, as some feared, thus requiring The Very Best Dress? What would come of fashion then, would the Very Best Dress be good enough? Probably not, thus requiring the Ultimate Best Dress or perhaps the Bestest Best Dress, either of which would ultimately be the downfall of all decent Society, and a good portion of the indecent as well, not to mention Grammar Reform, if the latter was adopted. What a mess, perhaps Society knew what it was doing after all?

She could not help but smile widely at her wild musings as her coach and four rushed off upon another vital adventure, the coachman only knew where. She still had little idea of what she had entangled herself in, but it was most certainly not tedious. The Lady Iris had read many a fairy tale in her youth and had never quite gotten over the habit, even as an established Society matron who should know better, or at least should have better taste, but nothing in all those wild tales even hinted at such a lifestyle nor such a heroine, but apparently she was not to know at this moment any more than she had already gleaned from her first mad adventure. Rather she must take it one day at a time, much as she must read the fairy tale one page at a time. It was a rather vexing thought, for she had hoped that things beyond her current reality would be far more sensible and straightforward, perhaps they were, but they were probably far from simple, indeed, how was her up-till-now mortal mind supposed to wrap itself around such complex metaphysical realities all at once? Nay, she must first learn the alphabet before she aspired to reading the great novels, not that girls were ever encouraged to do such an egregious thing, but she had always wanted to try and this might well be her chance.

At least she wasn't alone in this odd profession, whatever it be. She wasn't quite sure if the coachman and servants were actual people or not, as they said and did nothing not vital to their current duties; they seemed to have no personality, ambitions, thoughts, or dreams beyond their immediate actions. But Aunt Mildred and those two enigmatic Gentlemen from the Wood were certainly unique individuals. And then there were the Things, which technically as a class now included the Lady Iris and her colleagues as well, as she was beginning to understand that a Thing was simply anything that did not fit into Society's nice little definition of normal, which was very limiting indeed, not to mention exceedingly dull. She leant back into the cushions and smiled eagerly, whatever she had involved herself in, at least she wouldn't suffer that fate!