Everyone Thought Mars Was Hell (Hiatus)

Chapter 8: Alarm

Everyday, they consistently trained to no end, pushing Jake to his absolute limit, but about a week from Tori's confrontation...

Jake: AGH DAMN IT-

They were training his reflexes, by using his two of his fireballs against him to see if he can dodge, block or counter them. Now, in his eyes he was doing incredibly badly, yet any normal human would not be able to survive a millisecond in this training. In support of his view of him doing badly, he was launc- wait no I mean yeeted across a valley and got his whole upper body stuck in a mountain.

Jake: STUPID FUCKING TRAINING- STUPID FUCKING HUMAN BODY-

kid your body isn't human-

Jake: SHUT UP I KNOW-

An awkward silence filled his brain, and the outside world. You could audibly hear birds chirping overhead.

you... you gonna get out of the mountain now?

Jake: ... maybe

He used his hands to push himself free from the mountain, and slid down it like you can do in fortnite-

Jake: DO NOT REFERENCE THAT GARBAGE HERE-

Dude chill i don't know any other way to show what you're doing-

Jake: ... I'm watching you.

He finished sliding down the mountain like you do on f*rtnite-

Jake: that's better.

and walked back over to the cave where he keeps his normal clothes, and normally stashes his "Dictator Destroyer" gear. God that name is weird.

Jake: I'm too fucking weak. I need to get stronger.

Kid calm the fuck down. It's just training, you've only just begun actual, non body building training. You managed to dodge most of the balls.

Jake: Yeah. Most. Not all.

Sighing, he sits against the wall.

Listen to me. You were doing that for 3 hours.

Jake: AND I COULD'VE DONE IT FOR 3 MORE! DO YOU DOUBT ME?!

Your body has limits too, you moron! I like your attitude, but you need to relax on the training. You don't have unlimited stamina. Keep going like this and you'll end up killing yourself way before overthrowing Trump.

Jake: hey, the depressive shit can be for my next life.

... Jake you don't believe in next lives-

Jake: yeah yeah I know it was a joke. Lighten up, old man.

You're calling m e old?? You're 5023!

Jake: wait I thought I was 5014-

ok so maybe we don't know how old you are exactly, but you're definitely over 5000.

Jake: excuse me... weren't we talking about how you're like an entire epoch old?

Yeah so?

Jake: that's at least...

Because he's stupid, he begins counting on his fingers.

Jake: approximately 995000 years older than me. So yeah, I can call you an old man.

Ok moving on dipshit, you want harder training? There's a storm brewing over the habitable region of Mars, so we have to hurry if you agree.