Be My Escape

The Truth Comes Out

Present Day

Kaelyn's Perspective

Thankfully, Alex had only gone out to the van. He was seated in the driver's seat and I tried the passenger side door, which was unlocked. I hopped in the seat. He was just staring straight ahead, his lips pressed together and his face a mottled red.

"You're really doing this with Zack, huh?" He asked, his voice unsteady.

"Yes I am. What's wrong with that?" I asked.

He glanced sideways at me. "You're making a huge mistake."

I scoffed. "Oh really? Why is that?"

"Because he's not good enough for you!" He cried.

"Yet he's good enough for you to be in a band with!" I yelled.

"That's different and you know it," he said calmly.

"How?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

He shrugged. "It just is!"

I threw my hands up. "It always is! No matter which guy I show interest in, no matter who I talk to or become friends with, they're never good enough for you. You can't keep me from living my life."

"That's not what I was trying to do," he said softly, scrunching up his face.

"Well it sure as fuck looks like it. I'm thinking about dating someone you claim is your best friend--"

"Wait--"

"--someone I really like who seems to care about me and who understands what I've been through, and even that's not enough--"

He put his hands up. "Kaelyn stop--"

"I'm over what happened with Brandon, I really am, so what the hell is your problem, huh? Why can't you get over it?

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LIKE YOU!" He yelled, throwing his hands up.

The sudden volume of his voice in the confines of the van made me startle, and his eyebrows furrowed in regret at having scared me. It was quiet for a moment, save for his heavy breathing. "What?" I asked.

"Kinda hard to believe, huh?" He asked.

"Well, yeah. I mean you never said anything." I paused to think. "How--how long has this been going on?"

He looked down at his hands, wringing his fingers. "Since you were a freshman."

"But you dated Lisa and you whored yourself out to every girl from Dulaney and Towson and Mercy and even fucking Perry Hall!" I cried.

"That--that was all just distraction," he said, still unable to look at me.

"Lisa though," I said.

He finally looked up at me, his brown eyes filled with love. It was the way he'd looked at me for nearly three years and I'd been naive enough to think it was just best-friend-love. "She doesn't come close to you."

"She's my best friend! And ya know what? She's incredible. Before you dumped her this last time, she was so worried that you had feelings for me and I told her that that wasn't true, that even you wouldn't be that low. I made her second-guess herself," I said.

He looked at me sadly. "You didn't know."

"You're goddamn right I didn't know! I didn't have a fucking clue and you strung both of us along," I said.

"I knew I was doing it and I hated myself for it, but I kept trying with her, thinking maybe things would be different, but I'd break it off when I felt bad enough," he said.