Transformation

Are You Really True?

As I came out of the shower, a thought struck me. A horrible, grotesque thought. It made me feel dirty, it made my skin crawl, it made me feel like a new person. The sex I had just had, I realised, was with someone I had only been with for a few days. Ugh.

What was wrong with me? When Jake had first kissed me that night, it had just been a kiss. But I'd become so wrapped up in the feelings his kisses were evoking in my lower regions that I'd let out a throaty moan. His kisses had consequently moved further south, and our clothes had been quickly discarded. I was too distracted by how it felt, rather than thinking about whether I was ready to have sex.

"Emily?" Jake asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"Hm? Oh, yeah fine," I replied distracted. I sensed a sudden movement behind me, then breath on my neck. Jake sucked on my neck, causing me to shiver. And not from pleasure. I was scared. He began to pull off my towel.

"Again, baby," he whinned.

"No, Jake," I said firmly. He ignored my protests and flung me onto the bed stark naked. I let out a shriek as he did so and made a grab for my towel - my only means of covering myself up - but Jake just grabbed both my hands in one of his and held them above my head, before kissing down the side of my neck and onto my shoulder.

"Yes, Emily," Jake mocked. He positioned himself of the bed, and I struggled under his grasp. I was terrified. I didn't want to do this, but he was going to do it anyway... Was that rape? Jake clearly thought I was physically ready to complete this act again, but I wasn't. He obviously wasn't going for any foreplay, and I was dry as could be in my southern area.

"No! No, Jake!" I screamed, squirming around as I tried to break free. But to no avail. This was going to happen, and I was fucking scared.

***

"I said 'no' for God's sake, Jake! Don't you EVER do that again!" I screamed at him about fifteen minutes later, after he had committed his deed. I was sore all over, but particularly down in my most intimate area. Though I would never admit it to anybody, least of all Jake, I just wanted to go home to my mother and cry in her arms. I wanted to be protected by somebody that I knew wouldn't hurt me. Maybe that made me pathetic, but whatever. The person I really wanted to talk to was Amy, though. She'd know what to do, and I wouldn't have to be so embarrassed.

"Emily, I'm sorry, you feel so good and," he began, but I cut him off. He would never be the guy I'd had a major crush on again. I didn't want to hear his excuses. I should have known that somebody like Jake was only dating me because my appearance had changed drastically over the summer, and he found it attractive. This clearly meant nothing to him. It was just a fling. I didn't have the heart for a fling - I couldn't do it.

"I'm not a doll, Jake. I'm not a toy to be used. I'm a woman, I have feelings. I said 'no'!" I snapped as he made a grab for me.

"Emily-"

"I don't want to hear another word from your mouth, Jake, shut up. Show me to the loft," I said coldly, picking up my bag.

Jake stood up silently and threw on a shirt. He led me up a narrow staircase to a small room. It was decorated sea blue with a dirty cream carpet. The window was a small, circular porthole-style window, propped open by a brass arm. I could smell the gentle breeze of the night coming through. It calmed me. The room had a single bed covered in plain, white, linen sheets and a mahogany chest of drawers.

"Um, so, do you want dinner?" Jake asked.

"No, Jake, I want sleep, goodnight," I said curtly.

"I'm sorry Emily," Jake said kissing my lips once. I softened at the simple gesture of remorse.