The Gathering of Masters: The Bond Once Severed Book 1

37. Demands

As Raja joined Natalia in their sitting room for dinner, he found her standing motionless at the window, staring out at the darkening Vale. She tightly clenched her lower lip between her teeth and fixed her eyes on a distant point, lost in deep contemplation. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest as if trying to shield herself from the world. Her furrowed brows and intense gaze revealed the inner struggle Raja felt through their bond. She grappled with the weight of all they had learned that day, but he couldn't yet read her well enough to know which part worried her the most. The silence was palpable, and only her breathing broke it. Since their arrival, these moments of solitary contemplation had become more frequent whenever they were alone together.

Natalia's red hair glistened in the last rays of the setting sun, and her pale skin had a radiant glow. Raja found her most beautiful during these times, and he felt a yearning for her that he had only once felt for Lukas. Whenever this yearning threatened to overwhelm him, he would leave her alone to commune with Lukas. However, Raja could not feel at ease even then, as Natalia often used that time to visit with her priest, Destan. Whenever Raja thought of Destan, he suppressed the surge of anger and possessiveness he felt. He knew he had no right to demand anything of Natalia and should not begrudge her friendship with the gentle healer. That night, Raja remained with Natalia, waiting for her to tell him what had put her in her mood.

"She feels more distant," Raja confided in Lukas several nights earlier. His head laid on Lukas' bare chest, in the bed that had been the most prominent feature of their last home recreated in the Mindspace.

"Natalia needs comfort. Push it through the bond. Let her know you are there for her," Lukas recommended, his breath tickling the top of Raja's scalp.

"I will try that, but is it enough?"

"Honestly." Lukas pushed Raja up to capture his eyes. "I don't know her as well as I once did. The Natalia you describe has so little resemblance to the Nati I married."

"How?" Raja knew she had been through too much for her ever to be the same woman she had been in her youth, but maybe by knowing how she had changed, he could connect with her more.

"Nati held the joy of the world in her chest and shared it with everyone around her. Every beautiful thing sparked excitement in her face. She danced and sang as easily as she breathed, and no secret ever remained safe in her hands. Nati was my lifeblood, the only source of purity I had." Just as Raja contemplated how much of the Nati in Lukas's memory was true to reality, pain ripped through Lukas's happy expression, and he turned away as if to hide it. "And I threw it away so easily. I didn't even listen to her when she told me to stay, and I didn't understand her fears. I was angry with her, angry that she didn't believe me."

Raja pulled Lukas closer to him, trying to squeeze the sorrow out of his usually unremorseful mate.

"I killed our child," Lukas whispered, sending a dagger of pain into Raja's heart.

"Do you want another?"

"That time has passed," Lukas regained his composure and backed away from Raja's embrace. Understanding his mate's moods well after a decade together, Raja stood just before the bed, and all surroundings disappeared.

"Natalia is not a simple woman any longer," Lukas concluded, all vestiges of vulnerability lost. "It will take years to understand who she has become."

"Yes," Raja agreed. Suddenly, the revelation that both assumed he would have many years with Natalia struck him. As Lukas disappeared, Raja realized how entangled his life had become. Although Natalia wasn't as deeply embedded in his life as Lukas was, Raja knew she would become more important to him over time.