Royal Problems

Chapter 5- First Day

     It was Xue Yang's first day as assistant and he wasn't doing so well. Song Lan was watching his every move and word and it made him uncomfortable. Xue Yang realized that his job was mainly following Xingchen around and do what he wants him to do, this included writing papers, bringing him food and water, and sometimes playing around.
    He wasn't used to anyone but Boss telling him what to do so he would sometimes get the urge to say no or bully the young man. But he knew he couldn't, so he endured it until he was on his final straw.
   "Chengmei we have to go to a big meeting with all the kingdoms in around 15 minutes," Xingchen said, "you and Song Lan are coming with me."
    Xue Yang heard the word meeting and immediately felt his palms begin to sweat, "A what?" He squeaked.
    "A meeting, you know when a bunch of people gather together and talk about multiple things?" Xingchen said, "Don't tell me you've never been to one."
    "No I have, I just have a...let's say a dark past with meetings," Xue Yang said. He was terrified of meetings, he had social anxiety and meetings made it worse, although he took medication it would still sometimes affect him. He could most of the time keep himself calm but if he was in a meeting for too long his anxiety would act up.
    "What do you mean a dark pas-hey are you ok? You look a bit...off," Xingchen said. There was something wrong about Xue Yang's expression that he couldn't quite pinpoint.
   "No I'm fine," Xue Yang said smiling nervously.
    "You're not fine, what's wrong? You can tell me I won't tell anyone," Xingchen said and gently grabbed Xue Yang's hand.
    "I have..." Xue Yang sighed, "I have social anxiety."
     "Ohhh, so you can't really take meetings can you?" Xingchen said softly, "Well do you take medication or something?"
     "Yes but I don't have them with me right now," Xue Yang mumbled, "do I have to go?"
     "I'm afraid you do, but don't worry I'll be there and if you need anything just tell me alright? Take this as a challenge, let's see how long you can last," Xingchen said.
     Xue Yang nodded, "Alright, I can do this."
    "Your majesty, the meeting is about to start," Song Lan said as he walked in. He saw Xingchen holding Xue Yang's hand raised an eyebrow, "Um, am I interrupting something?"
     Xingchen let go and smiled, "No it's fine, we were just getting ready to go."
    "Alright, well the others are already here and are waiting for you," Song Lan said, "should we go?"
    "Yes, let's go Chengmei," Xingchen said and walked into the meeting room, Xue Yang and Song Lan behind him. He sat down at the table and Song Lan waved for Xue Yang to stand behind the prince.
    "Your majesty, a pleasure to see you again," a man with a fan said.
     "Prince Huaisang, a pleasure seeing you again too," Xingchen said bowing his head, "how are things with you and your kingdom?"
     "Well Blood Rose attacked the village yesterday, we almost didn't make it here," Huaisang said fanning his face.
     "Really? Did they do any harm?" Xingchen asked glancing at Xue Yang briefly.
      "I'm glad to say they didn't, but they did make a mess. It was almost as if they were looking for something," the man said.
     Xingchen nodded, "I see...well keep me updated."
     "Of course," Huaisang said.
     "Gentlemen! Let us start!" It was Xingchen's father, "As some of you know Blood Rose has struck again, they attacked the Nie Kingdom and they are probably going after somebody else. They seem to be searching for something, does anyone have an idea of what?"
     Everyone began whispering and Xue Yang moved a hand to his wrist and began scratching at it. He felt nervous, almost like he knew someone was talking about him.
    "Didn't that Xue Yang leave for a while?" A man in red said after a while.
"How do you know that?" Xingchen's father asked.
"A few villagers were talking and my guard heard it, he said the Xue Yang is here and that he came for the prince," the man said, "it might be a lie of course but I think you should be careful."
"Thank you King Wen," Xingchen's father bowed, "Xingchen, from now on Song Lan or Chengmei must be with you at all times."
"Yes father," Xingchen said.
"Who is Chengmei?" A man in yellow asked tilting their head.
"Oh I forgot to mention, my son has an assistant now. His name is Xue Chengmei," Xingchen's father said.
Everyone turned to Xingchen and saw Xue Yang standing behind him. They all stared at Xue Yang making him scratch his skin harder, he was getting even more nervous by the minute.
"Doesn't his name sound familiar?" The man in yellow said.
"His last name is the same as Xue Yang's," a man sitting next to Huaisang said, "what if they're related?"
"Of course they're not," Xingchen said, "Chengmei is not even close to being a murderer, he is sweet and kind."
Xue Yang glanced down and avoided all eye contact. He felt everyone's eyes on him and his mind was running, they all want me dead don't they? Maybe I should tell Xingchen...but I don't want to burden him. He's probably going to be annoyed by me or something, he must want me gone. What if I say I am Xue Yang? Will they take me away? Maybe that's for the best.
"Chengmei," Xingchen's soft voice broke his thoughts, "chengmei are you alright?"
Xue Yang looked up and saw everyone staring at him, "I uhh I need to-I need to go." He walked out of the room quickly, he pressed his back against the wall next to the door and slid down. His hands were trembling and he felt something building up in his chest and closed his eyes, "Breath Xue Yang...breath."
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he couldn't let it take control anymore. His stomach churned and he felt his heart flip and twist, he was starting to breath heavily. He breathed in and held it for a while before letting it all out again.
"Chengmei," a soft voice said, the said man turned around and saw Xingchen peaking out of the door.
"I'm here," Xue Yang said his voice weak.
Xingchen saw him on the floor and rushed over, "Xue Yang," he whispered, "are you alright? Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine," Xue Yang said smiling, he pushed everything down and sat up straight, "just felt a little overwhelmed."
"Are you sure? You can tell me anything you know?" Xingchen said grabbing Xue Yang's hand softly.
Xue Yang tried to keep the facade up but it shattered once he looked at Xingchen's eyes, "I...I need help," he whispered.
"What is it dear?" Xingchen asked softly, "Do you need me to get anything?"
Xue Yang didn't answer and pushed his face into Xingchen's shoulder, "I can't do it, I'm a failure. I can't even stand a stupid meeting," he muttered.
"You're not a failure darling, it's understandable you have social anxiety and sometimes you can't handle it," Xingchen continued, "if you don't have your medication it's a bit obvious that you will get it harder than with it."
"I'm sorry, you probably stopped the meeting halfway because of me," Xue Yang said, he felt tears well up in his eyes but kept them at bay.
"It's alright, you're anxiety is more important than some stupid little meeting. They were talking bad about you anyways," Xingchen said and rubbed Xue Yang's back soothingly.
Xue Yang broke down and cried into Xingchen's shoulder, "I'm so weak," he whispered, "so weak that I can't take a meeting. What use am I for anyways? All everyone thinks of me is some sort of killing machine, and everyone hates me. All I wanted was to have my mother back, and when I couldn't I went all killer mode. I'm so stupid and weak."
"Xue Yang look at me," Xingchen pulled away and cupped Xue Yang's tear stained face, "you are not weak. Nor are you stupid, you just wanted a mother and it's understandable that you would want to let all those emotions out. The only way you could do that was by killing, everyone has a different way."
"But I-"
"But you what? You did what you thought was right and you still have the chance to change what you think. You didn't kill me," Xingchen said smiling, "you let me live. That's a sign that you ARE changing." He wiped Xue Yang's tears with his thumb and pecked the man's lips.
Xue Yang nodded, "Thank you," he said smiling.
"It's what I'm meant to do," Xingchen said, "now let's go so you can wash your face really quickly."
"Alright," Xue Yang said and stood up with Xingchen's help. They walked away hand in hand in the halls of the beautiful castle.