Wonderland (t.h)

chapter: 27

Tom's been gone for 3 weeks. I really miss him. We call almost every night but it's not the same. I keep reminding myself that's it's only a few more weeks but it feels like forever. It has been nice to catch up with Lila and the boys though. I've been playing a few shows around London and tomorrow I release my new single Sue Me.

Ben and Rory are both in London for the next few weeks and we've all been hanging out and catching up. It's been forever since we've hung out by ourselves. Tom or Harrison were always hanging around.

We had an old fashioned sleep over last night, like we used to when we were little. We all slept in a pile in the living room after staying up half the night talking. I just woke up, it's like 9 and nobody else has woken yet. I'm squashed between rory and lila. Lila's legs stretch across mine and Rory's arm is thrown over my back. If i move I'm 100% gonna wake them. Instead I try my best not to move while I feel around for my phone. Once I find it I send a quick good morning text to Tom.
They're in Tokyo right now so it's like 5pm for him. He sees my text straight away.

tommy: Good Morning darling! I hope you slept well, I can't talk too much right now, we're about to go to dinner but I'll call you later okay? Love you, miss you 😘

me: Okay baby that's no problem, I'll talk to you later, love you ❤️ xxx

tommy: 💘

I smile at the thought of talking to him later and close my phone.
"Someone's smitten." Ben smirks at me from the other side of the pile. I didn't notice him stirring and he obviously saw me fawning over Tom's texts.
"Shut up." I stick my tongue out at him and lay back down properly. I snuggle back into my friends and let the sleep wash over me.

The next time I open my eyes the room is empty. I'm lying on the sofa, covered by a soft blanket. The pillows and mattresses have been cleaned up off the floor and it almost looks like the sleepover never happened. I don't remember moving to the sofa, someone must have carried me here.

I here the clinking of glasses and clanging of plates coming from the kitchen. I sit up and feel around for my phone. It lights up to reveal the time, 13:08. "FUCK" I exclaim. "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!" I start scrambling off the sofa.
Lila runs out from the kitchen "Hey, what's wrong?!"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME??"
"Cause you were sleeping and peaceful, we didn't wanna disturb you. It was Rory's idea."
"Of course it was FUCKING RORY AGHHHHH."
"Ali what's going on why are you so stressed you don't have anything on today, right?"
"I'm supposed to call Tom, It's like 9pm there already."
"That's not a big deal Al he'll understand."
"You don't get it! He's already stressed that I'm spending time with Rory. If I miss his calls he's gonna get worried and freak out!"
"But you guys are just friends, he knows that. Right?"
"Well..... I mean..... um...."
"Ali????"
"Okay so there may have been a drunken incident."
"Oh for fucks sake Ali Downey why do you do this?"
"Look I was sad and lonely and Rory was just there. He was comforting me and we started drinking and talking and drinking some more....."
"And??"
"And ..... we slept together okay!"

"ALI HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME??!!! WHEN WAS THIS EXACTLY?"
"It was months ago Tom and I weren't even together yet."
"Okay.... wait, how long before you and Tom got together was this though?"
"I mean..... it was like um.... a week."
"A WEEK?"
"Ya well it was like 2 weeks after we first met. We weren't together though."
"Does Tom know?"
"Not really. I mean I told him how we had to kiss once for the show and how, you know, I used to have a crush on him. Nothing more."
"Fuck Alice."
"I know." I look down at my hands in embarrassment. God I'm so stupid. I should've told him.
"Okay you should go call Tom. I'm sure if you just explain that you were asleep, he'll understand."
"Ya, okay..."
"Ali."
"Ya?"
"You're gonna have to tell him."
"I know."
"It's gonna hurt."
"..... I know..."
"I'm always here for you, okay?" She pulls me into a tight hug. I give her a small smile. Lila's hugs always make everything better. They're like magic.

I go to my bedroom and pull out my phone. I go into FaceTime and find 30 missed calls. "Shit."
I press on Tom's contact and wait for him to pick up.
"Ali?!" He exclaims as soon as he picks up. He sounds worried.
"Are you okay? Where have you been all day? Did something happen?"
"Hey, hey, hey! I'm okay Tom stop panicking."
"I can't Ali! I've been calling and texting you all day. You never go off grid like that. I was terrified."
"I'm fine, okay? Stop worrying."
"Okay, okay. Sorry. It's just. I always worry about you. I can't help it."
"I know baby, I'm sorry I scared you."
"So where were you all day?"
"I was asleep."
"You were asleep? But, I talked to you this morning, you were awake then."
"Ya I fell asleep after that. We were up pretty late last night and I was just exhausted I guess. Everyone just left me sleeping on the couch. The boys left, Lila's still here though."
"Aww okay darling. You alright now?"
"Ya, I feel way better now I'm talking to you! I miss you so much."
"Me too love. Only a few more weeks. Then I can finally give you the biggest cuddles ever!"
"Yes please!"

We continue talking for a while until Tom gets tired and hangs up to go to sleep.

Just a few more weeks, I think to myself. I should tell him in person. I'll wait till he gets back.

Just a few more weeks.