ink sans one shots

Thinking (errink)

inks POV

Theres a heavy feel again. The one that always come when you do this.

I sigh and set me phone on the desk. The message still open, reading at its basic 'were done'

of course this isnt the first time.
A year ago you did this to me. Out of the blue again.

I hope itll happen again yet I dont.

I leave the sink to go back go the dishes.  They left piles for me again. Itll get done, slowly.

My heart keeps hurting. As if itd been torn out again.
I didnt loose a lover, I remind, just a friend. A friend who's turn my heart three times over.
It always happens so suddenly. And it's always my fault.

I begin to scrub the bowls with the pad. Just little circles until its washed away.
Everything wells up and I begin to cry as I keep scrubbing.

Are you doing this on purpose? Did you read my suicide notes and depression messages. I didn't write them because of you. I wrote them for the people who love me.
But did you see me at a low and send that kick?

Of course not. I dont think you could give me so much thought.

You gave me so much hope when you messaged again. And you gave me the small promise of another message.
I shook when that message came. I was scared.
Dream had to hold my hands to calm me down.

Do you understand what you do to me?

Blue says if he ever meets you he wants to punch you for all the times you made me cry. All for no reason.

But of course, it wont. You're across the world. And I'd never let him harm you. Or anyone to be honest

I want a hug, one from Blue or Dream. But of course, its half past six. They're not here. They're never here.

I set the last load of dishes infront of me as I keep mulling.

Is it your intent to hurt me? Use me? did Cross know...? He sits beside you. I told him in bouncing joy when you messaged. I dont know if he was happy. But he put a face for me. Through message, nonetheless. When you know someone for so long, you begin to really know them.

I wish we never dated. Just stayed friends. We would still be friends.
It wouldn't have ended this way.

I was willing to settle, move across the world and ignore everything for you. Did you know that? I have to make people happy, no matter the price to me.
The price for you was to come across the world and take care of you.

It blew up in my face.

Were not so opposite, yet so different.
Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesnt. As time went on I found so many differences. You werent the man Cross introduced to me years ago.
You turned into something different. And that's okay.
But it wasnt for you.
Which is okay.

I finish the awful load and flick the phone open again, hoping you responded. Theres nothing to respond to.

I begin the cry again. Taking a seat at the table, I just cry quietly.My mother is down the stairs. She cant know I'm even talking to you.
I want my friend back.

I open the contacts to Error again and try to somehow will him to respond. I need him back.
I  need my friend.

I don't want you as a lover. For fucks sake I'd be willing to be your lover again if it means you'll talk to me.

I use the backs of my sleeve to wipe my tears. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe the feelings will go away.
I dont know what my problem is. It's never been this hard with someone who's done this.

I fall hard on my bed and ignore everyone else, just checking the inbox for your message.
It's not gonna come. It cant come.

But I want it to come.

I will do this until I die if I have to.

Just waiting to see if you'll message.

I want my friend back.

Fuck it hurts.