Little Secrets

Chapter 9 - This Love

Camila

"I am a disaster. I messed up so bad. Everything is useless." I threw my hands up in the air. "I swore to myself I would never even think about him again, although that was hopeless.... But I wasn't supposed to text him either! It's a huge mess. I suppose I'll just have to ignore him when he calls. Well, if he calls." I hope he calls. No I don't. I sigh. "I'm hopeless."

"Hopelessly in love with Shawn Mendes." Sofia agreed. I couldn't even argue with her.

He didn't call.

It was definitely for the better, I promised myself. If he didn't call, I'd stop thinking about him. That was my mantra for the next three weeks. I minded my own business, I went to the store, I came home, I made food. I did an interview with Vogue. I was normal. I had my parents convinced, and I was pretty sure I almost had Sofia convinced, although she knows me like the back of her hand. She knew I was heartbroken, and so I knew I would have to do something to get her to believe I was fine. I didn't need to be a drag.

Know you just how to make me miss ya

"Camila?" Sofia asked quietly. I whipped my head around to see her, standing in my doorway. I plastered a fake smile on.

When I'm feeling sentimental

"What's up sis?" I asked, patting my bed to beckon her over. She obliged, and sat on the edge of my bed. She inhaled deeply.

"Mila, I have something to tell you." She looked at her fingers, twining them together. I smiled gently.

"What is it, Sof?" I took her hand in mine and looked at her. She laughed a little bitterly.

"I hate boys." She said decisively. I snickered.

"Me too." I agreed. Sophie shook her head.

"Like, really hate them. Especially a certain one with the last name Mendes." She sighed. I masked my surprise quickly. "Aaliyah called me earlier," Sofia continued, "Mendes is really-" She scowled. I had to crack a smile.

"You're on a last name basis with my ex now are you?" I asked. Sofia rolled her eyes but smiled.

"He ain't your ex if you never dated him." Sofia pointed out.

Going in our separate ways, But when I'm back here in the middle

I loathed that she was right. Sofia grinned at my reaction. "Anyway, Aaliyah told me he was totally torn up about you." Sofia met my eyes fiercely. "He was going to kill himself Mila." She said quietly. I recoiled, and yanked my hands away.

Losing you, I couldn't face
"What?" I hissed. Sofia cringed. I jumped off the bed. "What? How?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes. I was panicking. But why? She said 'had', right? As in no longer?

"He was gonna OD." Sofia whispered. I shook my head, walking over to my wall and pulling my coat on.

"I've gotta go see him." I said, grabbing my phone and wallet. She grabbed my hand. Sof shook her head. I paused. "What?" I asked, impatient.

Sofia hung her head. "He doesn't want to see you." She murmured so quietly I thought I'd misheard her.

But to love you is worse

"Come again?" I asked, tilting my head. Sofia smiled sadly.

"He doesn't want to see you." She repeated, a little louder. I shook my head, pulling away, tears almost coming. I want to see him. I had to anyway.

"I have to anyway." I whispered. Sofia nodded.

"I know. I just figured you needed to know." She turned away. I nodded. I hated it. But I needed to see him.