The One (o.m. & c.f.)

19. Personal

We awoke around 11 the next day on the sofa with a blanket around us I still had Olly’s flannel on over my bra.

“Caroline, have you thought about my question?”  He started playing with my short brown hair.

“I didn’t realise you were being serious?” I turned to face him.

“Of course I am darlin” He rolled on top of me and smiled.

“Again?” I smiled.

“Again”

“Are you stalling me with sex?” He asked while playing with my hair.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes, don’t you want to marry me?” He sounded upset, I hate it when Olly is upset.

“Of course I do Olly but I was engaged to Jack last month and look how that turned out. I’m saying that you are going to do what he did. I’ll let you know when I want to get married okay?” I turned over and kissed him.

“Okay darlin” he hugged me and kissed my forehead.

“What are we doing for Christmas this year?” I asked.

“I’m going to my parents, are you coming?”

“I will”

“Good, at least I can get you to say yes to one thing” He winked, I grabbed his thigh and he pulled me on top of him again.

“Olly we can’t have sex again” I laughed pulling myself up.

“But you are perfect and you are finally mine.”

“Maybe tonight Ols” I stood up and went upstairs into the bathroom.

How was I going to tell him that I wasn’t on the pill anymore because me and Jack were going to try for a baby but we never had the chance. I knew Olly wanted children, but not like this. Not with me. Fuck.

I got undressed out of the little clothing I had on and climbed into the shower. I realised that my period was due the week of Christmas so I guess I would find out then and ever since I was 15 I had always said to myself that I would never have an abortion so I guess I can’t change my mind now.

“Caroline?” Olly called from outside the door.

“Yes?”

“You’ve been in there for a long time are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine just thinking, I’m coming out now” I pulled a towel around my chest and unlocked the door.

“Are you ok?” He put his arms on my shoulders.

“Olly I’m fine” I kissed him on the cheek and went into my bedroom. I have always been paranoid about my weight and today I was even worse I threw on a really baggy top because I had it in my head that he could tell I was pregnant. Even though I knew deep down that it is impossible. I pulled my wet hair up into a messy bun and it was the first time I had looked into a mirror. I looked how I felt. Like shit.

“You look perfect” He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist.  I automatically pulled away and walked over to my wardrobe to get some leggings out. “What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t been eating, I need to put on weight” I shrugged. Lying is what I do best.

“I can help with that, let’s go to nandos”

“Its 11:30 is it even open?” I laughed

“Sure it will, come on darlin” He took hold of my hand as we walked down stairs.

We pulled up at the closest nandos and luckily it was open obviously it was empty since no one would eat chicken so early especially on a week day. We sat down and Olly knew what I ordered from nandos so he went up to the counter straight away.

Within 10 minutes our chicken was in front of us and we polished the plates off quickly and we were soon back in Olly’s car.

“Did that make you feel better?” He placed his hand on my thigh. It was now or never.

“Olly, I’m not on the pill and we didn’t use contraception”

“Caroline its fine, you aren’t pregnant we only had sex last night” He sort of laughed.

“I guess” I started laughing too, I am so stupid. What about that night a couple of weeks ago.

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