Still In The Dark | BILLIE EILISH

part 1

(Billie's Pov)

*2 years later*

I'm now 21 and life hasn't gotten any easier. Everyone knows I was taken by a mafia, even though I didn't want them to know which is annoying. They couldn't press charges on anyone because Cobra really did blow up the mansion and kill everyone in it. We made out that Bricker was another hostage, therefore, he didn't get any charges for anything that he had done.

It was weird coming back to my family, mum and dad wouldn't even let me go. Then it was time to see Finneas and Claudia, that was another emotional wreck. The media and shit announced I had been found but I didn't post anything until 2 weeks later because it was all just too much. My fans went mental when I finally said I was back and I scrolled through my tagged and saw how much they had missed me. They really thought I was dead.

Speaking of death... you know what I'm not going to speak of it.

"HAPPY 2 YEAR COMING HOME" Finneas shouted bursting into my room jumping on top of me

"yeah yeah get the fuck off" i slurred

I winced as he quickly grabbed my face pulling it towards himself

"MUM" he shouted and she came running in

"what? what's happened?"

"she's using again"

"fuck off im not" i lied

Ever since.. that happened, I fell into a deep hole. Got into drugs and shit. Lines were my stress reliever.

"then why do you look like a zombie" Finneas argued and Nitro barked

"i was clean for 2 weeks.. i'm sorry" i pouted even though i didn't really feel sorry

You see they celebrate this day as my coming home day, but I dont... it means it's been 2 years since.. yeah I don't like saying it

After I came home, I took a break from singing, I just didn't have the energy, I cried every day over Trig.. I missed her so much, and I still do. After almost a year later I remembered her last words to me, so that's what I did. 6 months ago I started writing songs again.

I sighed as I pressed go live on instagram and soon enough I had nearly a million people watching

"hey guys... I wrote a song but I can't put it out because of what it's about.. I cant hide from this anymore though, people are noticing, there are articles about it and I don't want to lie to you lot anymore so here we go, it's not finished by the way..." I laughed at the end

"i'm feeling numb off of all of these xans,
i know it's dumb that i fucked up your plans,
i wish i was more of a man
i wish i was more of a mannn
i know you don't understand
i neglected you again
she said don't forget you owe me one,
99 cent dreams maybe you could show me some,
she told me she loved me but i do not deserve your love,
i put me above you and honestly i think i fucked it up,
i don't know why, i'm about to ruin the ozone,
i know you're sitting alone,
i made mistakes with these white lines,
and i'm clouded by all of this smoke,
i don't think i'll ever get sober"

I took a few deep breathes in and wiped my tears that I didn't even realise I had let go and started looking at the comments

'she loved a girl???'
'we support you we love you'
'wish i could help you stop the drugs'
'it'll be okay baby'
'i love you'
'wait is she gay???'
'bro did she fall for someone in mafia??'
'great another celeb addicted to drugs'
'fuck u eilish thought u were better'
'^^ shut up she's been thru shit'

I smiled to myself realising my true fans would never leave me for whatever I do. They had my back and I needed it.

"guys I love you all so much but i'm still not ready to open up about what happened when I was taken, take care of yourselves I love you all"

I ended the live and switched off my phone before laying back down in the bed letting out a few more tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ANDDDDDDDDD THE SEQUEL HAS STARTED!

brooo yous are gona have to wait for what I have planned for this book :)

that's all ima say

ooo song used: Ozone - Chase Atlantic