Still In The Dark | BILLIE EILISH

part 29

(Billie's Pov)

Trig's been back on the pills for 2 weeks and today I was finally going to do something which I'll let you all know later

Anyways, i'm currently singing a song that I've been working on to Trig. I know. I'm working on a song that's how you know my brain has started to calm down a bit and honestly it's all down to Trig

"holy fuckin shit i could never bored of your voice" Trig said happily

"thank you baby" I smiled and gave her peck on the lips

As I pulled away she gently placed her finger under my chin forcing me to turn back to her

"uh what was that" she frowned before giving me a soft passionate kiss

Things quickly got heated and I was now somehow being pinned onto the bed with Trig on top. She began to get more aggressive with her kisses and I let out a soft moan earning a smirk against my lips from Trig. She quickly took off my top and began placing kisses along my body making her way to my joggers. As she began leaving her fingers in the lining and started to pull them down that's when I realised something

"WAIT" I yelled but it was too late Trig could already see what I was hiding

my scars

I began to feel tears swell into my eyes. You see, Trig and I have been together for 3 months now and not once have we had sex... well proper sex I don't really count what happened at the party as sex because we weren't- you get the idea. We've been taking it slow...

Trig looked up at me and gave me a sympathetic look before looking back down at my thighs. I just wanted to scream and run away never coming back. I tensed up a little as I felt her finger trace around the scars before she placed sweet little kisses everywhere on them making sure she got every scar.

Is she really doing this right now instead of walking out and never looking at me again because my body is ugly? Wait why am I overthinking this, this is Trig. She doesn't judge people

"you're beautiful" she said softly pulling me out of my thoughts

She quickly pulled my joggers back up covering my thighs once again

Fuck maybe she does hate it

"we don't have to if you don't want to" she said again

"i do it's just.. i'm sorry my body isn't what it used to be and isn't the way you want" I choked trying not to cry

"what do you mean not what I want" she asked sounding a little hurt "baby I love you okay? I love everything about you and I especially love what you think your flaws are even though in my eyes you're perfect and flawless" she said pecking my lips

"i'm sorry i ruined the moment" i mumbled feeling like i fucked up but also feeling my heart flutter from what she just said

I watched Trig as she opened then shut her mouth deep in thought about what she was about to say

She gave a little sigh before letting out "do you.. uh do you wana maybe um.. top.. me..."