when she loved me / clifford

41

dad drinks a lot. i'm worried about him. calum told me that he loves me and will always be my friend. he said that he wants me to be happy.

"its just really hard"

that was my response.

he kept glancing at my wrists.

[[ IM INTERRUPTING OMF BUT UM 'youre adorable as hell, but im glancing at your wrist' OK BYE ]]

i really hate this life. i miss you. i miss everything we used to be.

i miss your eyes and your lips and your witty remarks to everything. i miss drinking strawberry milk and watching disney movies in your bed.

i miss the sounds you'd make when we had every inch of skin pressed together, our bodies tangled in each other.

i miss it all and sitting here in my bed, the same sheets that once held your body, it hurts ten times worse than the feeling of a blade across my skin.

- january 3, 2015

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btw those were lyrics to the song "when you see my friends" by mayday parade