i'm not yours | f.balor

thirteen

Finn sets me on the couch of his penthouse apartment. It's an open-concept apartment. There's light coming from a little room upstairs that I assume is his room. Floor to ceiling windows lines one wall. There's a nice view of Orlando from here.

I wipe my tears away with the sleeves of my hoodie as Finn walks into the kitchen to put some water on the stove for tea.

Once the water is in the teapot and is on the stove. Finn walks over to me. He says, "Ya don't have to tell me what happened if ya don't want but I'd like to know. You're crying and I wanna know why."

I swallow and sigh before I say, "He moved his schedule around only to come home and have sex with me for a few days. I told him that's not what I wanted and I told him what I actually wanted. Tony said that's what he wanted too, then he tried to guilt me into giving him a blowjob." I start to cry again. "I don't know what would've happened if I stayed for the night so I left. I called my brother but he didn't pick up and that's when I called you."

Finn hugs me tight and I cry a little harder.

I cry for a little bit before Finn says, "I'm gonna kick his ass. I'm happy ya left before he did something to hurt ya."

I cry, "I don't know what to do."

"About what?" Finn asks, pulling away a little bit and looking down at me.

I sniff and say, "I don't want to leave him but at the same time I do. I can't keep being treated like this."

Finn says, "Talk with him so he understands how ya feel, Tayla. If there's even a small part of ya that wants to stay with him then ya have to talk to him."

I look up at Finn and say, "I thought you would be talking me out of going back to him."

He laughs and says, "I would but it's my job as your friend to talk ya into staying if ya want to. I can tell ya love him and ya want to believe that he'll stop treating ya like this. If ya think he'll stop then go back to him."

I sigh softly. The teapot starts to scream and Finn goes to get our cups ready while I sit and think on the couch.

A part of me wants to believe that Tony will stop treating me like this but another part of me is done.

I love Tony. I do, but he fits me into his schedule and he never actually spends time with me while he's home. He literally moved everything around to fuck me for four days. He tried to guilt me into giving him a blowjob.

Yet, aside from all of this, I still want to be with him. Go figure.

My phone buzzes a few times with a few texts. I look and see they're all from Tony.

7:26 pm
tony ♡: tayla im sorry. please come home

7:28 pm
tony ♡: i messed up big time and i am so sorry. i never should have said that to you and disrespected your wishes

7:30 pm
tony ♡: please come back home so we can talk and so i can apologize to you in person. please tayla. i'm so sorry

7:34 pm
tony ♡: i know you're probably mad and upset but please answer me so i know you're okay. i need to know you're okay. please respond tayla

7:40 pm
tony ♡: tayla baby. please call me so i know you're okay. i need to know if you're okay or not. i couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. please call me

I sigh as I read the texts. I text him really quickly.

7:42 pm
tayla: leave me the hell alone, tony. i need space and time away from you. don't call me or text me unless i call or text you first

Tony responds with an "okay, I'm sorry" text and I roll my eyes. I turn my phone off as Finn comes back from the kitchen. He holds two mugs in his hands, setting both down on the coffee table. "I didn't know how ya take your tea so I just added the same amount of sugar and milk into yours as I did mine."

I smile kindly at Finn before I say, "That's fine. Thank you."

I sip slowly off the hot tea as I fight with myself in my head about whether or not I want to go back to Tony.

Finn says, "If ya need a place to stay for the night then I can set ya up on the couch or in the guest bedroom I have. Ya can always sleep in my bed with me if ya don't want to be alone."

"I'd like to sleep with you in your room," I say. "I don't want to be alone right now."

He nods and says, "That's alright. My bed is your bed. My fridge is also your fridge if ya wanna snack. I think there's frozen yogurt in the freezer. Strawberry and vanilla."

I make a face and ask, "Frozen yogurt? What did ice cream ever do to you?"

Finn laughs and says, "I try to eat healthy and frozen yogurt is the healthiest option between that and ice cream. I will eat ice cream occasionally though."

"That makes so much sense," I say. "I might eat all your frozen yogurt though."

He smiles at me and says, "Go to town on the frozen yogurt."

I laugh and sip my tea.

Finn and I are both quiet before he says, "I can put on a movie if ya want to watch something. I have Netflix, Hulu, and Disney Plus."

My ears perk up when he says that he has Disney Plus. He notices this and puts it on.

"Um," I say. "Actually can I use your shower really quick? I feel icky from the rain."

Finn nods and says, "Yeah, of course. The bathroom is straight back in the hallway. It should be stocked with soaps and everything. It's connected to the guest room so I'll leave ya some clean clothes on the bed in there if ya want."

"Thank you," I say, getting off the couch.

Finn smiles at me before I walk back to the bathroom, closing the door. The bathroom is cute. A small sink, a toilet, and a stand-up shower with a glass door.

I look up in the mirror at myself.

My hair is a mess, my makeup is a mess. I look like Finn just pulled me off the streets.

I hunt around the bathroom, looking for a brush or a comb so I can brush the many knots out of my hair. It's easier to wash my hair when it's less knotty.

Eventually, I find one. I brush out my hair, almost pulling half of it out in the process. I start the shower then strip out of my hoodie, leggings, and damp undergarments.

Once in the lukewarm water of the shower, I wash my face free of makeup before I proceed to wash and condition my hair. I wash my body three times.

The rain was a small reason why I wanted to shower before I spent the night with Finn. The other part is because I was to get rid of the feeling of where Tony kissed me and touched me tonight. It takes three times to get rid of that sensation that he is touching me.

Once I'm done washing my body, I turn the water off and get out of the shower. I towel dry my long hair before I brush it out and french braid it down my back.

I walk out into the guest room, seeing folded clothes on the bed. It's a large t-shirt and a pair of Finn's hopefully clean boxer shorts. I put them on and smile softly.

I leave the guest room and walk into the living room. Finn takes my damp clothes and says, "I'll throw these in the dryer so they dry quicker."

I nod and sit on the couch as Finn goes to throw my clothes in the dryer.