Ethereal

13

Hira

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, as I walked up to Aaron.

He smiled at me. "Want to go grab some food first? You must be hungry after cheer" he said. 

I sighed, crossing my arms. "Aaron let's just talk about whatever it is now, there's no point in stalling".

"Always quick to the point. By the way, are you and the new guy dating now?".

I quirked an eyebrow. "No, but I don't see how that is any of your business even if I were" I replied, slowly.

"Do you like him? Like yknow, romantically?".

I paused, looking away from him.

Do I like him? 

He made my heart race, I felt happy around him, he made me feel safe. But at the same time...

I looked back at Aaron.

But at the same time, I still had some sort of feelings for Aaron.

"You're not saying anything, I guess I should take it that as a yes" he said, smiling slightly.

Why are you asking me this?

"I...I don't know. I feel...complicated" I said. 

"Well what about me? Do you like me?".

My eyes widened slightly. 

Like you? 

I felt nervous, anxious, like I was being confronted and that I wanted to run off without looking back.

Aaron has always been someone who made me feel on edge, not because he was a bad a guy but because my feelings for him scared me.

I felt even more confused about him than I did about Luca. 

 "What if I told you, right now, that I wanted to be with you, seriously? What if I asked you to be my girlfriend right this instant?" Aaron asked.

 I felt conflicted as I looked at him. 

"Aaron I...I don't know".

Why are you pushing me so much?

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. 

"You know I really care about you. I know I mess around with other girls but at the end of the day it's only you that I want to be with seriously. I know you said you didn't want anything serious when we started sleeping with each other, but Hira I don't think I can hide the fact that I think of you as someone special anymore" Aaron said.

 I bit my lip, not saying anything.

"Please say something" he said.

My head felt like it was buzzing. I couldn't process what I was hearing. 

He wants to be with me? I'm special to him? I feel so confused. 

I froze. 

Wait.

"How can you say you like me when all you do is mess around with other girls?" I said, looking at him, clenching my hand.

He paused, his forehead crinkling in confusion. 

"We never were in a serious relationship, you said I could do whatever I want" Aaron said.

"You know, I...I liked you a lot. For a long time. And while we were never serious, I could never imagine sleeping with anyone else, yet you say you like me but every other fucking week I see you flirting with other girls. How am I supposed to believe you when you say you like me when all you do is sleep with other girls? I thought if you liked someone you would do anything to be with them" I said, my eyes pricking with tears.