Ethereal

17

Hira

He sighed. "Just...take a seat" Dad said, sitting down behind his desk.

"I'm fine where I am" I said, crossing my arms.

I had always felt a distance between my father and I, now that distance between us felt even bigger than before. 

"Your mother and I, we were never in love".

Ok and- 

"Before she and I were engaged she had been in love with this other man, and had been planning to marry him instead. Her parents refused and instead married her off to me" Dad continued.

"That's disgusting".

"When I met your mother, I had thought she was wonderful and beautiful but she never had eyes for me. She continued to see her lover in secret up until we got married, I pretended to have not noticed. I thought that at the end of the day since we were going to be married, she'd give him up...that was not the case" Dad said.

Oh.

"When we got married she continued to see him and I still played the blind fool. I knew she would never care for me the way she cared for him so I didn't dare to say or do anything. Your mother and I kept up the appearance that we were a happy married couple in front of others, but as soon as we were home, she'd lock herself in her own room not talking to me".

I always thought Dad was the one pushing Mom away.

"Eventually, my father, your grandfather, found out about her secret affair and...that man the one she loved was beaten up and your mom was threatened that if they didn't end the affair he would be killed".

"What the hell" I mumbled. I felt dizzy from listening to all of this.

"Your mother was devastated but she did end the affair and never went out to see him or anything again. As expected, she still didn't talk to me unless it was regarding the company and business affairs. Eventually, you were born as I needed a heir to the business. Your mother adored you and of course you were attached to your mother and never spoke to me. I guess it was around that time you were born where I began to have my own affairs" he said, running his hand through his hair.

What kind of dramatic Indian soap opera is this? 

"Your mother was aware but she never said anything. After all, why would she? We were simply together for business reasons, our marriage was a facade. I met Giselle when you had just begun high school. I genuinely fell in love with her, and told your mother. I guess a part of me hoped that your mother would be affected but she didn't even raise an eyebrow or anything. Instead she just said okay and moved on with her life. When she was diagnosed with cancer I felt devastated and was thinking of ending it with Giselle just to make up for lost time with your mom. However, your mother still never relied on me and pushed me away up until she passed away" Dad said.

I stood still, not saying anything.

I felt confused and upset. I couldn't even tell who I was upset at. Was I upset at my mom's parents for forcing her into a loveless marriage? Was I upset at my dad who turn a blind eye to my mom's affair and never tried to getting close to her? Was I upset at my mom for not taking the marriage more seriously and having an affair?

I felt nauseous. 

"Hira, I know it's a lot to take in. I'm...sorry for not trying harder" he said.

"I...I...I'm going to go on a walk" I mumbled, slowly turning to leave.

"Wait...".

I stopped and looked at him. He seemed conflicted as he looked at me.