Never Okay|Sequel to Cigars and Cigarettes

Chapter 12

Mercedes POV

It's been 23 days 9 hours 32 minutes and exactly 42 seconds and counting. Since Sam texted me last. Let's not forget that it's been 26 days 9 hours 32 minutes and I'd say 40 second, since we even spoke in person. This is sounding very desperate (which I'm not) I could have any guy I want and frankly I don't want Sam. I don't want someone who is gonna hold me back from my dreams or the real world. So, why bring up Sam you ask? Well, I'll keep it short and sweet. I am still in love with him. I for one thought that he loved me and wouldn't give up this easily, but obviously he has. We only broke up about a month ago, so I didn't expect things to be this rocky. No even a smile on the hallway, or even eye contact. This though, may happen to do with the fact that Reggie spilled to Sam that I have been seeing Shane a lot. I just find myself glowing whenever I think about how supportive he was during my pregnancy and how comforting he was when it was over. So, I plan on acting like me and Sam never happened. That our child never happened either. Ya, Ya I got the results back, but part of me (large part) wanted it to be Shane's.

Sam's POV
Reggie suggested this. I am not a guy for a diary or even a journal. ok? I'm not over Mercedes. Whenever she looks at me in the hallway I have to look down because even just looking in her eyes everything comes back to me. I can't take the heartache anymore. I can't skip anymore classes that we share. Oh, and here's the real kicker. Mercedes started seeing someone. I'll let you guess, guess anyone in the entire school. Guess who she picked though, the one guy that she knew would get under my skin more than any other guy on planet Earth. Shane. The fact that she picked him makes me think that she never really loved me at all. That I was just some pretty boy to stand next to her and hold her purse, I am not that guy and I am going to show her very clearly. That I will never be that guy again.

Mercedes POV

"We have another hour before class starts...." Mercedes said running Shane's shoulders

"Aye, I feel like that's all we do? Why don't we watch part of a movie or something"

"Are you kidding me? Your turning me down for sex?"

"Nah,Nah baby. I've wanted this for so long I just thought we could switch it up a bit"

"Oh, like "chill" you mean" I said smiling

"No, that's how you end up with. chil-dren, don't you remember? All I'm saying is that to keep this exciting we should do something different."

I stared at for second before realizing what he actually meant "ok than I'll see tonight in your dorm than"

"Mercedes, but no....."

I quickly put my finger over his lips before he could say another word.

"Oh, trust me you'll be surprised"

And I walked out.

Sam's POV

I was walking faster than I usually do down the halls but I wanted to get to class early anyway, Off topic but, can I just say that texting while walking/fast walking to class is just like texting while driving. Ya, know when you're driving you can run into cars, things, PEOPLE. Even some PEOPLE that you're trying to get over and they always seem to get in your way. Well let me just say that I literally knocked foreheads with Mercedes

"Ah, son of a bitch" Mercedes said bending over holding her forehead

"Mercedes." I said standing straight holding my forehead

"Oh, sorry Sam"

"No, I was texting while walking"

"Me too." she said holding up he phone

"So, um who were you texting?"

"Oh, Ya know random people, my mom"

"Ya, well moms are really important"

She lets out little crackle, but caught herself quickly and turned to stone again

"Ya they are, um who were texting?"

"Uh random people"

"I gotta go" we said in unison

"Ya, ya I guess I'll see you around"

"Ya totally"

I started to walk the other way before she stopped me.

"Uh, Sam can I talk to you about something."

I stopped than turned around to face her.

"Uh, pretty sure Shane can help you"

"No, no it's just I need to tell you stuff that I never told you when we were together that your should know. I know that's it's a horrible thing that-"

"Wait, wait whAt is it?"

"I'd rather tell you in private"

"Ya, ya sure we can talk in my room."

By the time we sat down across from each other a minute or two had gone by before Mercedes started talking.

"I was completely honest with you and I shouldn't have gotten mad at you when I you told me that you tried to get me pregnant. Well, I didn't get pregnant and-"

"Oh, my god did you abort it" I said screaming standing up

"No, no listen to me. The day that I came to see was the day that I had found out that I had lost it."

"You, you mean a miscarriage"

"Yes, Sam. Ok." she said rubbing her eyes quickly

"How far along were you?" I said zoning out, looking at floor

"About a month."

"How could you not tell me." I said clenching my jaw

"I didn't know if if-" Mercedes wined into almost tears

"If what spit it out!"

"If it was yours ok!"

There was a long period of silence. Enough time for Mercedes to pull herself together and speak up again.

"The night we had had our big fight, I had went out and and meet Shane and he was so nice to me and I just went back with him not thinking and-"

"You were showing symptoms of being pregnant before that. It was mine wasn't it? You didn't want it to be mine didn't you?"

"Sam, Sam. I was in love with you and I didn't want to hurt you, by having you take care of a child. I wanted to make sure because I love you."

"Your such a emotional wreck that you're talking in the present" I said holding back some tears

"I did that on purpose because I still love you."