It's been 10 years already i think? I don't know. I lost counts. Hindi ko na alam kung ilang taon na ba ang lumipas simula nang iwan ko siya. Simula nung talikuran ko siya. Simula nung sinaktan ko yung babaeng pinakamamahal ko ng sobra.
Every time na naaalala ko yun I can still hear voice, begging me to stay, asking me not to leave her. As much as I wanted not to pero kailangan. Tiniis kong makita siyang umiiyak kahit deep inside me hindi ko kaya. Nasasaktan siya pero mas nasasaktan ako.
—
"No don't do this to me. Okay lang. Okay lang kung di mo ko kayang ipaglaban sa kanila. Okay lang Elmo basta wag mo lang akong iwan baby please. Wag mo naman gawin sakin to oh. Wag mo naman ako saktan ng ganito" i badly want to hug her, to kiss her. Pero i need to be strong. Kailangan ko pigilan yung sarili ko. Kailangan hindi ako madala sa pag iyak niya kahit ayun yun kahinaan ko.
"Sorry. Please let me go. Set me free. This is for your own good Julie. I love you but staying isn't enough already. I love you but I need to let you go. I love you but you don't deserve me. I love you that's why I'm doing this. I need to go. Be happy. That's all I want Julie" at tuluyan ko na siyang tinalikuran. Alam kong hinihintay niyang humarap ako sa kanya pero no. I need to control myself. Kasi alam ko sa oras na tumingin ako sa kanya, hindi ko lang kakayanin baka bawiin ko lang lahat ng mga sinabi ko at sabihin ko sa kanya na mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal. Sobrang mahal. Kaya no matter how much i wanted to look back, i stop myself from doing that at tuloy tuloy lang sa paglalakad papunta sa kotse.
I love Julie so much. More than my life, more than anything in this world. She is my world, my everything. Wala na akong ibang minahal at mamahalin kundi siya lang. But I have no choice but to do what's the best for her, kung anong makakabuti para sa kanya. Kung saan siya mag gogrow.
—
"Hoy Elmo!" sigaw sakin ni Kris.
"Ano?" sagot ko naman sa kanya na mukhang kanina pa may sinasabi
"Kanina pa ako salita ng salita dito pero mukhang hindi ka naman nakikinig. Layo ng iniisip natin pre ah. Saan ka na nakarating?" pamimilosopong sagot ni Kris sakin na
Binato ko siya ng papel na ikinatawa naman niya. Siraulo talaga to. "Baliw, may naalala lang"
"Siya na naman yan no? Hay nako Elmo, ilang taon na. Sobrang successful na siya sa career niya, halos nga sobrang sikat na niya eh. Mapa international at local man. Grabe din talaga yung pag bloom ng career niya" tama naman si Kris. Sobrang sikat na niya. Sobrang successful na ng career ni Julie. Yun naman yung gusto kong mangyari diba? Yung mag grow siya individually, yung makilala siya hindi lang dito sa Pilipinas kundi pati na rin sa ibang bansa.
"I'm so proud of her, Kris. So proud. Sobrang proud ako sa kung nasaan man siya ngayon, sobrang proud ako sa narating niya." sagot ko kay Kris
Tinapik niya ang braso ko "alam ko yun bro, alam namin yun. Nagawa mo ngang isacrifice yung relasyon niyo para lang sa kanya eh"
Napatingin ako kay Kris, totoo naman siya. I sacrificed everything just for her and I will do it all over again. I'll sacrifice everything. Just for her. Only her. Only for Julie.
Nagpaalam na ako sa kanila dahil may pupuntahan pa ko. "Mga brad una na ko ah"
"Sige Moe, ingat ka. Dito lang ang YOLO boys" sabay nilang sabi.
I fixed my things and went straight sa parking lot. I have something important to do. When I arrived at my car, I immediately drove to MOA Arena.
I can't miss this day, her special day.
When I arrived at the venue, i disguise para walang makakilala sakin. Ayokong may makakita sakin. Kaya kailangan kong mag ingat.
Pagpasok ko sa venue ang dami na agad tao. I can see different fans club from different places, hindi ko mapigilan hindi mapangiti. Ang layo na talaga ng narating niya.
The concert is about to start. Ewan ko pero kinakabahan ako but I know she will do well.
When she appeared on the stage. I opened my twitter and post a tweet.
"@SuperElmo: Baby, I like your style"
She was stunning. She owns the stage tonight. I am so proud of what she became, on how successful she is. How successful her career is. From Asia's pop sweetheart to Asia's pop diva. Really suits her. The title suits her.
I was so focused on her. I can't even take my eyes on her. Watching her owning the stage. She is the sweetest but tonight, she's on fire. Fierce.
"Before this night end, gusto ko lang kantahin dito yung sinulat kong kanta. I wrote this song siguro 3 years ago. Haha. Well this is all about a girl who begged for love, who begged for someone to stay and asked him not to leave her" sa sinabi niya may clue na agad ako. It was her, siya yung tinutukoy niya.
A fan shouted "Julie, sino yung girl? True to life ba yan?" and the crowed laughed
She laughed and answered "Secret haha, malay niyo. Di niyo sure haha"
The crowed teased her and she was laughing. Her laugh is like a music to my ears. I can listen to it all day.
"So ito na nga guys, this song is called Isang Gabi"
Then she started singing, every lines, every stanzas, tagos na tagos. I can't stop imagining that day. The day I decided to let her go.
She finished singing her last song and thanked everyone who came. After saying her message for her supports, she bid her goodbye and told them to be safe on their way home.
Tonight, she was the most beautiful star. She was the most outstanding star infront of me. She is my brightest star and will always be.
I never missed any of her concerts. I was there. I was watching her from afar. In her every success, I was always there. She may not be able to see me but I was supporting her every step of her way and I will always will.
When I arrived at my condo, agad akong nagpalit ng damit para makapagpahinga na rin. Habang nakahiga, naisipan kong mag scroll muna sa twitter and mag tweet na rin bago matulog.
"@SuperElmo: You will always be my star."
"@SuperElmo: Look at the starts, look how they shine for you. ✨"
"@SuperElmo: Proud."
"@SuperElmo: Goodnight, my star. You did great."
Pagkatapos kong magtweet, naisipan ko na rin matulog. Pero bago ko ipikit ang mga mata ko tumingin ako sa side table at tinignan ang litratong nakapatong dun. Yung litrato naming dalawa.
"Goodnight baby. I love you. Always."
