Gawain

Personal Information

Did you ever felt so invisible in your life? When you're in the crowd but seems not among them? Because not once, not twice, and not even thrice but a lot of times in my life I did. I was an outcast since I was in elementary school, in junior high school, and even in my senior high school.

I never felt peace while experiencing it until one day I choose to seek a Man that will change my whole life forever. In my former schools, I have a lot of friends but most of the time I was alone and left out. When moments in my life gets tough, I was with no one but myself, and instead of crying or breaking down in a crowd or public, I would always hide and sulk in, doing some self-pity moments.

There are a lot of times back in my SHS days that I will always excuse myself to go to our comfort rooms and choose the last cubicle to get inside and sit in the very corner of it just to hug myself, cry silently by covering my mouth so that no one would hear my sobs, and I would even scream sometimes just to let everything out.

It was horrifying but little did I know that a ray of bright sunshine will show up in the midst of it. I love reading that even in my deepest darkest moments, I choose to read. While reading a spiritual romance book—still crying my heart out, I met Him, our God Almighty. In that flattering book, there was this urge of searching for more about Him because it gives me hope, He gave me more reasons to cry beautifully.

I understood it now, why I had to get through tough times alone, and that is for me to be tougher alone with Him. In able for us to grow we needed to communicate well not just to other people but most importantly to ourselves, to know and discover what we lack in our lives the most and that is faith in Him.