Take Me Home (A 100 And FTWD Crossover)

Chapter Fourteen

Clarke hit the door with her hand, biting back a yell of annoyance. Popeye wined behind her, his little scared looking face broke her resolve and she slid down the door, holding in her tears by looking to the ceiling. Popeye dropped his head onto her lap and licked her shaking hands

Clarke had never seen Alicia sound so serious as she did when telling Clarke to leave. She knew she couldn't stay, she couldn't ask Alicia to look past the bizarreness of their situation. And she couldn't honestly tell Alicia that she didn't still love Lexa and that her looking like Lexa had nothing to do with Clarkes feelings towards her, because if she was honest with herself they were. Her heart squeezed and her breathing became shallow, she had to leave Lexa all over again. She wanted to stay, just to see Lexa's face everyday, even if she couldn't speak to her. But, it wasn't Lexa's face. It was Alicia's. And she cared too much for her to bombard her life, a life where she had a family and new people to care for. There was no room for Clarke, not with this hanging between them. She knew Alicia viewed it as a betrayal, and Clarke couldn't blame her. But that also didn't mean she had leave everything behind, she didn't know why Alicia and Lexa looked the same and she didn't know anything about the portal that brought her here in the first place. She hadn't even thought about it since arriving, with the walkers and Alicia she hadn't had a chance, nor had she wanted to think about home and the dreaded feeling that she would have to go back. Clarke wiped her tears away and pushed herself up, forcing herself to pack her rucksack in the bedroom. She came back down for her sketchbook, before putting it in her rucksack she ripped out a page and grabbed one of her pencils. She sat on the couch, going over the words in her head. She had never been the best writer, drawing was her thing and she didn't see the point in wasting a pencil on words. Until now. 

__

Alicia,

I'm sorry about everything and you deserve an explanation. If you don't want one that's fine and you can throw this away before even reading it, but I have to know I tried to explain what I could.

I come from a different world which you already guessed, one that has been destroyed by war and disasters. If I'm really honest, I don't even come from there. I come from space, believe me I know how crazy that sounds even in a world filled with the walking dead, but after I was arrested I was sent to the ground and that's where I met Lexa. I know you haven't believed a lot of the things I have already told you, but everything I have said is true.

Lexa was the commander of the ground and  at first, our people didn't get along, they never really have, but Lexa and I did. I loved her so much, I never even got to tell her how much, and if I'm being completely honest with you, I still do and I probably always will. But, I do care for you Alicia and I'm not sure what that really means right now or how much my feelings have been influenced by how much you look like her. I know you're not her and that doesn't make me want you any less, but I will do as you ask and leave. You deserve someone who  can give you every bit of love you deserve and who isn't comparing you to someone else, I don't mean to, but I know I do. 

I need to find how why I came here and how you have her face, I only have one thing left of her and I fought with my life to keep it. I should have showed you, maybe something would have happened if I did. But I am writing this letter on the back of the sketch, I don't know that much about it, but I know a part of Lexa is in there and I know I can never let it go. All I really know is that it was known as The Flame and when I had it in my head I got to see Lexa again. Everyday I fight the urge to put it back in, because I know if I do I will never leave my own mind again. I don't know why I am telling you this, I guess a part of me just wishes that a part of her, no matter how small was in you.