Forgotten Memories

Chapter 20

Charlotte was sitting in the room that she had stayed in while acting as the crown princess. She couldn't fathom how messed up things had gotten. The family who took her in, albeit for the wrong reasons, was destroyed. The death of the king and queen shook the world of Ravena, their youngest daughter, but also that of the entire kingdom. A large portion of the kingdom didn't think the king was fit to rule, or at least not fairly, but none of them truly wanted him dead.

Charlotte couldn't help but feel responsible. Maybe she could have convinced the rebels that her dream was in fact a premonition, or maybe she could have convinced them to leave earlier. Or maybe, if she hadn't left in the first place, if she had stuck it out and not gone running to Sean, she could have prevented the attack on the king and queen all together.

She could feel herself falling into a pit of never ending scenarios in which she could have stopped this whole thing, when Matt and Carson knocked on the open door. She could tell by the look on their faces that they knew how big of an impact this was having on her. Matt eased himself onto the bed next to her with the grace only a soldier knew while Carson perched on the foot of the bed. Matt wiped the tears off of her face with his thumb.

"How are you holding up?" It was clear to Charlotte that he knew she wasn't doing well but was instead asking how he could help.

The words were getting stuck in her throat so she settled for a nod of acknowledgement. They sat in silence for a few moments while she tried to collect herself. "I could really go for one of Sean's hugs right now."

Matt and Carson looked at each other over Charlotte's head. She looked back and forth between the two just as confused at their confusion as they were of her statement.

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Carson's head, "Oh. Char, those are only for you. He doesn't go around hugging everyone like he does you."

"Oh," she let her hair fall around her shoulders as she stared at the ground, processing this information.

"He was looking for you though," Matt chimed in."He assumed you'd be in the library so we decided to check here while he checked there."

Her laugh sounded hollow, like a bell with a missing clapper or a music box with broken teeth. As she walked toward the library she couldn't tell whether it felt like she was floating outside of her body, or like her muscles were made of bricks.

•••

She finally found him as she rounded a corner, and as soon as she saw him she nearly broke down crying again. He folded her into his arms, running his hands through her hair. They stood like that until her heart slowed back down and her breathing returned to normal. Only then did they break apart, Sean stepping back and lifting his hands to cup her face. He tucked her hair behind her ears and wiped the remaining tears from her face.

"I should have known you would go back to your old room."

She smiled faintly, "You couldn't have known, it was a last minute decision. It just felt right seeing as I woke up there."

"God, that seems like forever ago," Sean ran his fingers through his hair, trying to come up with the right words. "I know this is really hard for you, I can't even imagine what it feels like. But I just want you to know how proud I am of you. And not just of how you are handling this but also how you believed in yourself and how brave you were coming back here."

She studied his face, looking for the lie but of course she found none. She still didn't understand what he saw in her.

"When you marched us over here, it was like I could see the switch flip," he continued, "It was like you finally believed in yourself, like you finally saw what everyone else saw. You were brave, and strong, and no one would have dared stand in your way."

"Me? I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly."

"Some people are actually terrified of butterflies." He replied, desperate to convince her. Sometimes he wished he could shake some sense into her, but he knew she was too stubborn, even for that.

She could feel her wall crumbling, piece by little piece. "How do you do that? How do you believe in me so much? People died today, I'm not a hero. I should've been able to stop it."

"Char, there was nothing you could have done to stop this." He lifted her face back up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "You hear me? No one saw this coming. The only thing we can do now is try to pick up the pieces, make sure it doesn't happen again, protect Ravena. You couldn't have stopped this. It's a miracle we even got here this soon." He paused to tuck her hair back behind her ear.

Her eyes were welling up and she felt like an above ground pool about to break.

"You want to know why I believe in you? Because I know you better than I know myself. Char," he eased her head up again. "you were the defining moment."

The sky darkened outside the arched window, confirming that this long disastrous day was coming to an end at last.

He pulled her attention back from the window, "The rebel alliance was a ragtag group of misfits before you. We barely had a purpose and we had no solid plan or even idea of how to accomplish that purpose. We were rallying numbers and trying to plan things out. And then I met you, and the moment I did, I knew you were the missing puzzle piece. I knew that with you by our side we could send the whole castle tumbling down. And everyone saw it, hell that's why the king himself chose you. You were destined to lead and even though we lost this battle, you lead us here and together we can rebuild this kingdom from the ground up. You are made of fire and stone and you are stronger than you will ever give yourself credit for. If you can't trust yourself, at least trust me."

The tears started flooding down her face and Sean pulled her back into him. Surrounding her with his strength and calm. In his arms she felt safe, like she could finally relax.