Thrown Away

Fearful Thoughts Turned Blue

Calm yourself, Azure, I thought as I continue to walk over to Steven and Spinel who are waiting for me at the warp pad. I was still pretty nervous, they might be wondering where I went to. Maybe what I did during that time that I was gone. I wasn't sure, I couldn't see what they were thinking, nor' could I tell what they were saying. I'm not that good at making out words, but, I could only think the worse of what they were saying. I've always had this problem with trust, and that problem was only strengthened by my past experiences with relationships.

I've always been self-observant and observant of how others act near certain people, especially since Era 3 started. I started to be more aware of what was happening around me, and I didn't know how to react to it all. Some people were really nice after the Diamond Authority had lost control, others were even more ruthless. And while there are only a few gems that are like this, it's still terrifying to know that they're out there.

Two have made it their life goal to destroy everything Steven stands for, everything that Era 3 is. One of them being a non-merciful Aquamarine, the main 'lead' of the duo. And the other being the Ruby that put Steven on trial back during Era 2 on Homeworld. She had said that Steven was Rose Quartz, I was shocked when I heard the news. At first, it was just a rumor that Rose Quartz was still alive. But then when she had said the statement, it was more than just a rumor then.

Pink was very close to Blue Diamond, which is why she was so emotional during the whole thing. After Pink's supposed shattering, Blue would visit where her Palanquin every couple of years or so. It would always leave a mark on me emotionally, her tears would make everyone within a certain area feel her pain. It would always be worst on me, but I eventually got used to it. I needed to get used to it if we were going to make this trip every couple of years. That was when something terrible started.

Every time I or someone, anyone, thought about Pink, I would have terrifying visions. I never knew what they were, and I knew that I couldn't tell the Diamonds, I'd be shattered on the spot, or even worse. I'm not sure what happened to gems that weren't shattered or bubbled, but I know that it was much worse than shattering itself. Think about it, a Pearl, having visions like a Sapphire. It sounds impossible, but there I was, experiencing it first-hand. I still couldn't believe it and I experienced the visions for myself.

The first time I ever had a vision was sometime before Pink Diamond had started colonization on Earth. I can only remember it vaguely, but the vision was about the events of the Gem War. At the time, I thought nothing of it, but I began to fear what was about to come when the Gem War started all that time ago. At first, I saw a vision of all Rose Quartz being wrongly accused of shattering Pink Diamond. Again, I thought nothing of it. There wasn't any reason to worry about it since, at the time, Pink Diamond hadn't gotten her own colony yet.

Little did I know what would soon follow. It was the worst tragedy in gem kind, so many gem soldiers were shattered during those years. "Pearl?" I jump in shock as I look up to see Steven right in front of me with a worried expression on his face. "Are you okay?" He asks me. I start to cry and shake as if I was freezing cold, but I didn't feel cold. I felt sad, disgusted, despised. I felt alone, like I always do. "I- I don't," I stutter. "What's wrong?" Amethyst asks me.

"I- I just- I just want to be alone!" I yell as loud as I could. I quickly cover my mouth as they look at me terrified. I notice that Amethyst was staring at my hand, I start to look down at it. "Don't!" Amethyst shouts at me. But it's too late, I can see my hand turning a much darker shade of blue. It wasn't like a corrupting blue, but I don't know how else to describe it. "I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't- didn't mean to," I stutter, I can barely speak. I was terrified and afraid. What's happening to me? I think to myself. I start to back away from Steven and Amethyst, scared that I'll hurt them on accident because of my arm.