Thrown Away

Am I Ever Going To Be Healed?

After just a few more minutes, Steven calls me back so that he can start figuring out what's going on with me. I was nervous, what if it couldn't be fixed? What if I was stuck like this forever? Just thinking about it made me feel scared, I wanted it gone. I wanted to be rid of these feelings. What if these feelings are from the Diamonds? I'm not sure if that would even be possible, I and Yellow are Pearls, not Diamonds. We wouldn't have the same powers as them, would we? We couldn't, right? Sure, we were created by the Diamonds to serve them, but the same powers as them aren't what we would have. We were created to be 'less' than them.

Thinking that once we were meant to serve the Diamonds as if we weren't equals, as if we were their servants for the rest of our lives. And now, we live together, we are equals, and we're just supposed to live with it, knowing that we can't ever get 'revenge' on them for the deeds they did, the crimes they've committed. Oh no, I'm thinking like Yellow! I thought, horrified by what I was thinking. The entire reason why I broke up with her was to escape this, but here I am, thinking it to myself, without her anywhere in sight. I stop walking as I gain a terrified expression. It takes a while for Steven to notice though.

He turns around to face me, "Are you sure you're okay, Azure?" He asks me with a worried and terrified tone. I could tell that he wasn't looking right at me, so I look down at my arm and notice that it had turned dark blue again. I was horrified and nervous, I look back at him to see that he had already run to the back of the building. I wasn't sure if he was getting something or running away because of my arm. I had always assumed the worst of everyone, all because of the Diamonds. I could feel a slight burning on the same arm that was turning dark blue, Steven looked like he was about to stop me from looking at it.

But it was too late, I had already looked down at my lower arm. It had a slight blue fire emitting off of it, I was terrified. So terrified that I run out of the building, closing my eyes as I start to tear up. Will I be like this for the rest of my life? I thought as I run through Little Homeworld, frustrated that I couldn't be calm ever again knowing that I could just flame up randomly. Just thinking about it made the pain worse, it made my arm burn even worse than it did before. I wanted it to stop, to end so that I can just live normally. But it wouldn't, it wouldn't go away.

I couldn't shake the feeling but to make my way to Homeworld again, I don't know why, but I felt like I needed to. I felt as if it would fix all of this, all of the pain that I felt, that I was feeling. But, at the same time, I wanted to stay as far away from there as possible. I felt that the Diamonds would have something to do with this, but, then again, how would they be able to do this? "Azure?!" I hear someone call from behind me. I stop in my tracks as I hold my arm, trying to hide it from whoever had just called for me. I slowly turn around to see who it is.

It's Amethyst, "What do you want?" I ask nervously and anxiously. I wasn't expecting Amethyst to follow me, out of all people, I would've expected Steven to follow after me. I looked at her, worryingly, as if I had a right to worry about someone other than myself in this case. At this point, my arm had started to go back to its original color. It was like Amethyst had, calmed it or something. Even I felt more calm than before around her. I was calm, but at the same time scared because, if Amethyst was actually making me feel calm again, what if she's why this is happening?

But it couldn't be her, every other time, besides 2 minutes ago, she was nowhere near me. It was always while next to someone that I didn't entirely trust or that I was nervous around. "After you had left, I followed so that I could help you, if I can," She told me as we start walking closer to each other. I could tell that I had started to blush, and so did she. I wasn't sure why, but we kept walking until we were right in front of each other. "Why do you care about me?" I ask her curiously and scared.

She turns her head a little, looking even more nervous than myself. "I- I feel safe around you. I feel calm around you," She responds. I look at her, shocked. I was shocked and confused because of her response, I felt the same, and I would chase after her to for the same reason. I felt like I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, but I wasn't sure how she felt entirely, sure she felt safe and calmed around me, but did she want to be with me for the rest of her life? I couldn't stop thinking about it, even if there was a very slim chance she felt the same way. I close my eyes and breathe in and out. But then I hear a voice, it sounded familiar, but I knew who it was at this point.

I open my eyes, it's not pitch black. Everything looks and seems normal. Amethyst is still standing in front of me, but I could feel my arm burning up again. I turn around to see Yellow's Pearl standing right behind me. "What do you want from me?!" I yell nervously. Amethyst looks at her, terrified about what could happen. Yellow's Pearl seemed as though she wanted something, but she also looked mad. I'm not sure what she would be mad about, but I didn't really want to found out what that would be. "You know what I want," She responded with a slight shake in her voice.

I wanted so badly to run, to escape from her. But no matter where I went, it just lead straight back to her. Over and over again, no matter what I did I couldn't escape. No matter what I thought. "I want another chance!" She yelled. I freeze up. "You- You what?" I ask nervously. I felt like I could've passed out right then and there. "You heard me, think about it Pearl! If we get rid of the Diamonds, we could rule again in their place! We would be unstoppable!" She said confidently. I was scared, even more scared of her than anything else. And here she was, asking for forgiveness after months, still with the same views that she had before.

" I can't," I say in a slight whisper, but still loud enough for her to hear me. "What do you mean you- you can't?" She said anxiously. I looked up at her to see that she was furious by what I had responded with. The anger in her eyes could shatter a person, she looked like she wanted to shatter me, along with anyone near by or anyone who would dare try and stop her. "Amethyst? Run." I told her as I pushed her away and ran towards Yellow, knowing that I was the only one that even had a slight chance of stopping her. I look back behind me to make sure Amethyst was getting as far away as possible, but she's just standing there, looking helpless.

She's crying. "Amethyst! RUN!!" I call out to her as both of my arms start to glow that dark blue color again. This could be the last time I ever see her, the last time I ever see anything or anyone. As I get closer and closer I get ready to jump into the sky and pin her down so that I could try and poof her. But Amethyst comes running up from behind me at a speed I didn't know she go and pulls out her whip. She pulls Yellow toward her and constricts her with the whip. She poofs. I was a little mad that Amethyst hadn't run away like I had told her, but, at least we know how to stop Yellow if she ever gets out of her newly found bubble.

"Amethyst, I-" I try to explain why Yellow was coming for me only and nobody else, but Amethyst interrupts me. "I'm not ever leaving you behind. Both of us know that," She tells me. I didn't know about that last part, but I felt like I knew that she wouldn't ever leave me alone. Especially after what just happened. I felt like both of us needed to protect each other from anything. I was scared of being in that type of relationship again. The last time, it was with Yellow. I've already explained how that went, and I don't want to ever experience that again.

But, my arm was still the same as it was before. It was still a glowing dark blue. Would it ever stop? Or am I going to have to live with this for the rest of my life? Am I ever going to be healed?