Winters Moon

Being Human

I woke gasping for breath. For a few moments, i didn't know what had happened. It took me a bit to realize where i was, which was something that hadn't happened to me in a long time. Part of my very survival was that i was always awake and aware of my surroundings.

During those confused moments, vague memories of the night before flashed through my mind. Antonia actually did it. She gave me back my human life. I looked down at my hands to see if i could tell the difference in my skin. The first thing i noticed was my vision. It was not as good as it once was. My skin was not as pale anymore either, nor did it sparkle like it once did. It now has a pinkish hue to it, a sign that blood is running through my veins. Not to mention, my body hurt with every move i made.

I suddenly looked up as Carlisle walks into my room. I was startled, not used to the fact that I didn't hear him coming. I had put my hand to my heart and now could feel it racing.

"I thought i I heard you. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like I've been hit by a truck. How long have i been out?" I asked him as i laid back down on the pillow.

"For two days now. I ran a few test and everything checked out fine. Your vitals signs are good. As far as i can tell your perfectly healthy.... for a human."

"Carlisle I'm sorry." I started to explain but he cut me off.

"Rose, you don't have to be sorry. Nor do you have to explain to me why you did it. I knew the moment Antonia told us about the possibility of restoring our humanity that you would be one who would be interested. Bella and Silviana explained to us what they could."

"Everything?"

" Well you'll be glad to hear i did run a pregnancy test on you when i took a sample of your blood. The results came back positive. I wasn't sure if it would read it this early but since it did i imagine this is gonna be a lot like Bella's pregnancy. You know what she went through but I'll help you as much as i can."

"Yes, i know. So....How is everyone taking it?"

"Most of us is better then others."

"Others as in Emmett obviously."

"Yes, he is the main one but there are others who are equally upset. Alice is also not to happy with your decision. Partly i think it's because she is so used to knowing what is to come and this news came so unexpectedly.

Emmett hasn't left your side till i finally convinced him to go feed. He left not to long ago. I had a feelings you'd be waking soon and I'm sure you need some time to gather your thoughts. I'll leave you be for now. Is there anything i can do for you before i leave?"

"Yes, there is. Can you tell Bella i would like to speak to her?"

"Yes, of course. She's downstairs as we speak. She's been worried about you, As have we all." He said as he left my room.

A few moments later i heard a knock at my door. I raised up off my bed quickly. I knew it was Bella and i said come in. As she walked in the door i bombarded her with questions.

"What all happened the other night? Is Antonia really dead? Is Silviana ok? How much do the others know?"

"Rose, calm down I'll tell you everything you want to know."

"I'm sorry, i can't help it. I don't like that I don't quite know what's going on. That's why i wanted to talk to you."

"I already assumed as much. Where would you like me to begin?" She replied as she saddled down at the foot of my bed.

I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and said "Well the last thing i remember was how delicious Antonia tasted and then blacking out. I awoke briefly to you telling me Antonia didn't make it."

"No, Antonia didn't make it. After she had cast the circle it was like an invisible shield was keeping us out. I saw a glowing light that wrapped around the circumference of the circle that neither i nor Silviana could penetrate. We could tell you was draining her and wanted to stop you.

As Antonia's life faded so did the shield. By the time we was able to get to you both, it was to late. You was out and Antonia was dead. I tried to wake you and for a moment, after a few hours of trying, you did. I could hear your heart beating and knew it had worked but didn't know what to do after that so i ran and got Carlisle. We brought you back here and cremated Antonia's body.

As far as Silviana go's, you'll have to talk to her yourself. She blames you for losing the only family she had left, but please don't be upset with her. She has lost a lot in all this too. I can't help but feel bad for her as well."

"I don't blame her but Antonia knew she wasn't going to make it. She just didn't say anything to Silviana and let her believe that there was a chance she could save her."

"Maybe she just didn't have the heart to tell her."

"Honestly I think in order for the spell to work she had to give her life for mine. She did it so that Adrian can be born. She knew more then she told anyone. I'm more afraid now then ever. If he's as powerful as she said he'd be just imagine those who would want to take him or worse."

"Rose, calm down. Your letting your thoughts run away with you. Do you think she would give up her life if didn't know for sure we would over come all this."

"I hope your right." I told her not wanting to think about it any longer.

"Emmett will be back soon. Why don't you take a shower. I bet you'll feel a bit better. He'll have a lot to say to you when he gets back. He's hurt you didn't tell him about all this." She got up off the bed and walked to the door. As she opened it she stopped and said "He is excited to be a father but there is one thing neither i or Silviana told anyone... We didn't tell them you couldn't be turned back. I'm sorry but i couldn't bring myself to tell them and I don't think Silviana could either. I've heard them talking and Carlisle wants to be sure he's here this time around."

"It's ok, I'll handle it." I told her and then she left the room.

I got up and took a shower. Even though i still didn't know what i was going to say to Emmett, i did feel better. As i was looking at myself in the mirror brushing my hair, i could definitely tell i was human. At first i almost didn't recognize myself. It was like staring at a memory from the past. A shadow of my former self. I did not know this person anymore but yet here she was and i hated her.