A familiar song plays through the hangar bay. It's coming from my iPod, which is hooked to a speaker; 'No Matter Where We Go', by Whitney. Jasper and I trade looks, and he grabs my hand as we take a running start, both of us putting down our feet and sliding our way across the floor.
Jasper sings along quietly to the words, letting go of my hand in order to pour himself his third consecutive glass of moonshine. Usually, I would try to stop him from having this much alcohol, but considering our apparent recent victory, I decided we could both use the break.
Even now, while spirits are meant to be high, and joyous, my mind bogs me down. I remember the list Clarke puts together before Praimfaya, and how it won't even matter in the end. Will I be included on her list, or will she deem me just replaceable enough to exclude?
To be fair, with Bellamy's inclusion, I can guess I will more than likely be on the list as well, but what of Jasper? Of Monty? In the show alone, Monty had been left off, but what would I do without those two by my side?
I suppose, just as ALIE had taunted me, I'd fall apart. Without Jasper, I'd be little more than a shell of a cosmic mess of a broken person. Without him... I'll lose my mind.
God, I sound ridiculous, but we've been through hell and back together. He's my world, there's no other way to put it, not to mention how many times I've thought of ways to help him, and begged the tv to let me comfort Jasper. Now, I have that chance, and I'll be damned if I let that go.
As I watch him dance like an adorable lunatic, all I can hope for is to bring him along. No, no, I can't rely on hope or childish wishes. Jasper will get to the Ring safely if it's the last thing I do.
My thoughts are interrupted as the boy grabs my hand, swinging me with him into a clumsy dance. I let out a shriek of laughter, my glass spilling slightly, the moonshine splashing over my hand and fingers.
Giggling madly, I dance along, and he eventually breaks away after giving me a sloppy kiss, striding his way over to Harper. He fills up her glass, and cringes, gesturing to her split brow apologetically.
"Sorry about the... you know."
Harper smiles bitterly, feigning annoyance. "Smashing my face into a wall, or pistol-whipping me?"
After an awkward moment, Jasper murmurs, "Can I plead the chip?" The two laugh a little, and he next travels over to the table Raven is working underneath. He goes to refill her glass as well, when her hand whips out, cupping over the opening before he has the chance.
Dismayed, he tilts his head. I move over to his side, and he snakes an arm around my waist tentatively. "We saved the world, you're supposed to celebrate. I think that's a rule."
She finally rolls fully out from her place under the table, and sits up in a chair. Her words are pointed, though we all know she doesn't mean to be so brash, it's just focused Raven at work here. "I'll celebrate when we know our friends are okay... and when I get the mainframe back online."
My boyfriend goes quiet, looking up at the static-filled monitors. His voice is low, almost ashamed. "Is it weird I want back in?" He confesses, keeping his brown eyes trained on the computers. His hand flickers at my waist, hesitant and concerned, then falls away to his side.
Raven glances up, then between us, and I step away, leaving them alone. It wasn't a conversation for me, after all. I sit beside Harper, and finish off the last of my moonshine, propping my elbow up on the table's top. Shifting to rest my chin in my palm, I close my eyes, and take a breath.
