Under My Skin // KYLO REN FANFIC 18+

Connection

If the First Order found out about my, admittedly complicated relationship to the Force, I know they wouldn't keep me alive like they are now. No, instead of death they stripped me of everything I was, of my entire identity, then stuffed me in a uniform to work in maintenance for the rest of my life. Amazing.

The first couple of months felt like hell, or what I'd assume it to be like. But then, I saw him. The man I'd heard so much about. The man who I'd known when he was just a boy and went by a different name. I knew the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren as Ben, but it's apparent now that Ben is very much dead.

An unfortunate shortcoming of mine is my deep need to save him as if I could even do anything. Another unfortunate shortcoming of mine is my undying stubbornness.

"Gwen, need I tell you again," General Hux's harsh grip pulls me from my thoughts. Personally, I try and avoid giving Hux direct eye contact, I don't like the way his gaze sits on my body. I nod slowly, staring at the small creases just above his eyebrows. All of the sudden, voices start erupting from his comm attached to his right ear. "Supreme Leader? Yes- well, no. Yes. Right away." Supreme Leader? Hux's eyebrows twitch as his body angles away from me. "At least pretend to be working, at least for the next two minutes," he hisses.

The blast doors scream open, and suddenly I feel as if I can't quite stand. A feeling rushes through my veins from my fingers to my toes, a sort of feeling that I've tried to ignore for so long but now suddenly it feels as if it's drawing me to the black shadowy figure strolling through the blast doors and towards Hux. My breath feels cold and trapped in my chest, but my blood feels hot and alive.

When his dark eyes finally reach my impenetrable gaze, the tingling feeling that was raging through me turns into a wild, burning intensity. I know it's juvenile of me to think so, but as I stare into him, I can almost see the same feeling coursing through his broken soul.

"Ben..." it's a miracle words were even able to fit out from the lump in my throat. Hux abruptly slams his foot down onto mine."Address the Supreme Leader accordingly!" If I'm honest the words just kind of bounce off of me. All this time I've only ever seen the Supreme Leader with his cracked mask on. I've only ever seen Kylo Ren. But now I'm face to face with the boy who I grew up with all those years ago in Hanna City. And in his eyes, I can see that he knows exactly what I'm thinking.

Kylo turns to Hux, dismissing him.

Now it's just him and I, alone.

With the force.

"Who are you?" He asks, taking a small step towards me, which I match with a small step back, forcing me up against the steel walls of the lower maintenance bay.

"You know who I am," the confidence in my voice is unmatched by how I feel inside. His dark eyebrows furrow as he bites his cheek. He takes another step towards me so that he's almost pressing against me. It's only now that I'm seeing how tall he is, how strong he is. My fragile frame leans further into the steel wall. His full lips quiver slightly as he opens his mouth to speak again.

"Guinevere?"