I Need You to Stay

Chapter 13

We waited for Frank to arrive. Both of us sat on a log with the tent and our belonging packed. I closed my eyes soaking up the sun's heat. I looked over at Gerard to see him looking down at his shoes biting his nails.

"Are you okay?" I asked squinting my eyes because of the sun

"Yeah" Gerard smiled at me and then went back to looking down

"You didn't think last night was horrible did you?" I started worry if he got second thoughts about me.

"No way, it's was perfect." He smiled weakly at me. There was silence for a minute. "I have to tell you something" Gerard turned around to face me and held my hands. "I did last night for a reason. Remember when I told you that we would going on tour in a month and it would only be 6 months long?" He looked me in the eyes

"Y-yeah" I started to worry to where did was heading

"Well are tickets sold out really fast and they're way more demanding then we told they would be. The tour is going to be extended for another 6 months." Gerard explained

"Oh" I swallowed trying to absorb the information "You'll be for gone a year" I said quietly to myself

"That's not all, because we are extending the tour, it means we have to leave earlier" Gerard looked away not wanting to make eye contact

"H-How earlier?" I stuttered afraid of the answer that was going to come out of his mouth

"Saturday"

My mind went blank. I forgot what day it was today taking me a minute to realise how many days I have left with him.

"That's only 3 days away" I whispered to myself

"Lisa, I'm so sorry. I didn't know about this until a couple of days ago"

"I can't believe I won't see you in a year" I quiet said going into shock. I stared at the ground

"Wait wait maybe you can come with us? We'll share my bunk and-"

"No Gerard. I can't leave my mum to look after the shop by herself " I felt like crying, I felt disappointment spread all over my body

"You can come visit? Right?" Gerard smiled

"Yeah but I can't afford it"

"I'll pay, we'll set up dates where you can come visit me for a couple of days"

"I suppose" I frowned not seeing the bright side

"We'll Skype every night. I promise okay?" Gerard put his hand under my chin and raised my face to his making me looking in his eyes. "We'll get through this"

****

It was our last night together for a long time. I sat there staring at the coffee table not focusing on the movie that we were watching. We hadn't spoken properly since the night in the forest. Last couple days Gerard was busy trying to get things in order for the tour.

"I'm going to make a sandwich want one?" Gerard paused the movie and got up

"No I'm fine" Still daydreaming

There was tension in the air like we were waiting for something to happen but I don't know what.

"Can you please stop sulking. I'm trying my best to make the most of what we have but you're ruining it" Gerard said while putting cheese on the bread.

"I'm ruining it!?! I'm not the one leaving for a whole year. I'm not the one dropping my girlfriend to go and live the perfect life" I cracked. I broke down.

"You thinking touring is the perfect life!? Sleeping in a fucking bed that's too small to turn in. Not eating proper food to eat. Not taking showers in weeks. Missing everyone you love but trying to act happy every night in front of thousands of people! You think that's the perfect life?!?!" Gerard shouted

"I know you'll forget about me Gerard. I knew this wouldn't work. You'll have thousands of girls throwing themselves at you" I spat

"Thanks, you're calling me a cheat" Gerard thrown the mustard back into the fridge

"No. But how am I suppose to know. You'll be in a desperate situation and you'll have all the opportunities that are better than me to take." Tears built up in my eyes thinking him kissing another girl the way he kisses me

"Lisa don't you fucking know already that I'm totally in love with you! Can't you see that. I don't see any other girls but you. Since I met you after the concert I fell head over heels in love with you. I didn't want to accept it because I felt stupid that I felt this way to a complete stranger. You know what scares me the most though. I don't think you need me as much as I need you. I don't think you realise how much of an affect you have on me. I'm scared that after I go you find another person that will make you feel the way I feel about you. I'm scared that I'll have to let you go so you can be truly happy with someone else." Gerard was taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

I couldn't hold my emotion back any longer. I ran to the bathroom and locked it, sliding down the wall my arms wrapped around my legs. I couldn't handle that someone that was so important to me was leaving me. That a person would love me.

"Lisa?" Gerard knocked on the bathroom door. "Please unlock the door, I'm sorry I got angry at you. I'm just an emotional mess right now."

I got up and unlocked the door. I crashed into Gerard's chest making him stumble back.

"Shhh.. it's okay" Gerard whispered stroking my hair.

"I-I'm going to miss you so much" I sobbed

"I know, I'm going to miss you too. Probably more"

"I love you Gerard" I mumbled into his chest.

"I love you too." He kissed my forehead. "It kills me to leave you here. I don't want to go." I felt his hand going up and down my back comforting me.

I felt relieved that I told Gerard how I truly feel before he left. One part of me wants Gerard to go because he loves what he does. The other part of me wants him to stay with me. I knew it was selfish of me 

I looked up into his hazel eyes. He wiped away my tears and kissed my lips softly. He cupped my face putting more pressure into the kiss. We sucked on each other tongues. We lightly bit each other lips. My hands went up to his hair. His hands traveling down my waist. I wrapped my legs around his waist when he lifted me walking into his bedroom. His soft hands went up my shirt, his fingers lightly touching my waist. I closed my eyes wanting to remember how Gerard smells, how he feels against me and how he touches me.

For the rest of the night we kissed, laughed and cried. We stay awake to early hours of the morning  not wanting to waste anytime that we had left. I fell asleep in his arms. I held his hand throughout the night afraid that if I let go he would be gone when I wake up.