Hamburr ~Stop Caring ~

Chapter 4

Alexander Pov

James is gone for the business trip he was yelling about. I left the house for about an hour through week, Aaron tries to talk to me often and we'd go for walks, it helps calm my mind. I think we have a better relationship, and that we're better friends. Well...I don't know if I want to call us friends. I mean we have a good relationship, but whatever...I'm a greedy idiot who always wants more, James is right. I don't know why but I felt like he was being troubled by something. I was terrified it would be me a lot of times. I try to stay low and quiet, even though his kindness was extremely soft. I hear the door close and I saw Aaron...wiping his eyes? 

Aaron Pov

Every day when I look at Alexander, I am reminded of myself...of Timothy. I remember the pain of every beating, every whip, every lash. But...I am also reminded of the good in him. When I see him I see a person who can fight for anything they wish for. He's still in pain, but he remains to be bright when he's not afraid or overthinking, What do you expect from abuse after 2 years of constant torture? it ended when I was eighteen...well now I'm 20 and the memories still haunt me. I don't show much of my emotion to Alex...not to overwhelm him, it's easy to overthink. I wipe away the few tears on my cheeks as I walk into my house.

"Are you okay, Aaron?" I freeze to look up and smile. 

"Of course I am. It's been a long, tiring day that's all." That is the biggest lie I have ever heard. I sit in front of the fireplace and read. I noticed that I'd twitch a few times when I remember things. But I tried my best not to do it in front of Alex. 

"NO!!! P-PLEASE!!! I-I'M S-SORRY!!" I screamed as Uncle Timothy stabbed me with the broken glass pieces. 

I shake my head and try to focus on my book. Alexander walks over and cautiously sits next to me on the couch. I noticed he was reading 'The Art of War', it was a really interesting book.

Alexander Pov 

"Art of War? I enjoyed reading that book, I've read it many times."

He smiled, glancing at me. I noticed his muttering and shaking, I don't know what to do to help. I return the smile, "yeah...I didn't get to read much...with Reynolds and all." He paused and his smile faded. NO. I like his smile.

"I know..." Why does he do that? He doesn't know what this is like. He doesn't know how it feels. he doesn't know how painful it is. I get up and walk towards the table, closing the book. 

"No...you don't...you don't know what it's like." I said quietly. I heard him put the book down and I felt immediate fear of talking back to him. There's a long pause as he stares into the fireplace. I look at him from behind, afraid to move. 

"I do." I heard a small crack in his voice. He sat and spoke robotically, once again become the Aaron Burr I once knew. "I do know. It only stopped 2 years ago..." what?? he was dating someone too? someone hurt him? 

"...my uncle. Timothy. I had no choice but to stay. My parents...are dead. They died when I was 4." His voice remains monotone, emotionless. The way I remember it from when I first met him. "I loved him. I thought he loved me. he kept me alive, I was so grateful for it. But I was blinded, blinded by my gullibility. he beat me every day, for hours. He'd take my books, and take my papers...the only way I could feel better. I was only able to write with glass, the paper, my arm." 

I walk over to the couch and sit next to him. His eyes are glued to the fire, and his beautiful hazel eyes were shining. How could someone so kind, so gentle, so good hearted, ever go through something like that and re-live the pain by seeing me? Me in the same situation. I felt guilt wash over me for what I had said. I carefully take his arm, Aaron flinched and looked at me. This time I felt the confidence, so I looked him straight in the eyes. They were glazing as he blinked them away. I lifted up his sleeves and saw older scar marks. disgrace was carved into both of the arms, more than once. He didn't pull or retaliate, he let his arms limp. "I'm sorry..." I say after a few moments. He looked up at me, a few moments later: "it's not your fault. I promise...I--" a sob escaped his mouth as he covered it quickly, tears began to stream down his face, "I promise...I'll make sure you won't have t-to go th-through what-t I did..." I'm still in shock. OH NO I made him cry. Someone so kind, so gentle, so merciful had witnessed the infliction of pain of the merciless? I immediately wrapped my arms around him and he hangs onto me, doing the same. 

"Aaron...I'm so sorry...I wish I could've been there for you..." waves of guilt flooded me, I remember yelling at him so many times back at Princeton. He would ignore it but I know I still hurt him. It stings. We were top of our classes at high school so we went to college at 15. I was selfish and only looked out for myself, I do deserve pain.

"you wouldn't have been able to do anything, Lex...b-but I promise...I'll always protect you, no matter what happens." His hand gently stroked my hair and the embrace tightened in security. I smiled against him and I felt my tears stop. I didn't know why he was doing all of this...does he actually care about me? this isn't out of pity? I have no control over myself because as I parted...I pressed my lips against his. He let out a muffle of surprise, but then cupped my face in his hands as he returned the favor, melting into the contact. I'M SHOCKED...First this guy I swore he hated me helps me and offers me a place to say, then he has emotions, and now I'm in love with him? Well...whatever it is I love it. I look down, turning red and I could feel his soft gaze on me. "I-I'm sorry..." I say quietly. 

"don't apologize...It's...nice." I look back up and he's turning RED. I felt Aaron kiss my forehead softly and smile. "I'll be in my study if you need me. Let me know if you want anything, okay?" I nod my head and he walks into his study. I collapsed on the couch, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside...I just kissed Aaron Burr and he kissed me BACK?? I close my eyes, smiling. I haven't felt this way in a long time...it feels nice. 

Aaron Pov

My cheeks are burning and I sit down to begin my work. I couldn't help but realize I was jerkishly smiling while I was remembering everything that happened with Alexander. My God...it was so soft, gentle, and warm. I continue the night working, but it felt better to work after being with Al--EXANDER. Alexander. no I want to call him something cute, he's small and cute. I called him Lex, I can call him that. 

It's been a few hours and I'm still writing. I recall Alex being extremely talkative and argumentative, he would fearlessly fight Jefferson. It's strange what 2 years of pain can do to someone. I'm thinking about having us work together in our law firm. Washington would most definitely love him. As I begin to finish my work, I hear a loud *BOOM*. Ugh. That stupid storm outside, it scares the shit out of me. To my coincidence I hear a soft knock at the door. 

"Come in, Lex." 

Alexander was hugging himself tears were stained on his cheeks. His eyes looked bloodshot and he was shivering tremendously. 

"Hey...what's wrong?" I say, bringing him to the sofa in my study. Another crack of thunder came from outside, the flash of light bursting from the window. He immediatley grabbed on to me and buried his face in my chest. "It's okay...it's just a storm." He shook his head and began to mutter names I hadn't recognized. 

"don't worry...I'm right here..." 

Alexander Pov

The rain and thunder was normal here but I could never get used to it. The hurricane destroyed my home town, it destroyed Nevis. People were dying.

"It's getting late, we should head to bed now..." Aaron says after a while of holding onto me. "I don't think I want to leave you in this state, Alex. Would you like to sleep with me?" I immediately look up, his eyes flashed from the light from outside. I slowly nod...hesitantly. Why would he want to do that? 

"don't worry...not anything like that," He chuckles. I return the laugh, it felt good to laugh after a long time. It feels like it's been forever. 

I walk upstairs with him anxiously and he gestures me to go into bed. I carefully do so, and he gets in after a few moments. I realize im burning with embarrassment and I felt like an intolerable child...How does he tolerate me? Maybe I'll scooch closer to the wall so I don't invade his personal space. "Good night, lex." I felt him kiss my forehead and I feel a zap of happiness as I smile up at him. "thank you...thank you so much. Good night." I say, I have no idea what's wrong with me because I kissed his cheek and cuddled close to him. I guess he didn't take it offensively because he pulled me closer and nuzzled his nose into my hair. 

"I-I'm not invading your personal space or anything...right-t?"

He smirked and closed his eyes, kissing my head one more time. "I like it better this way," 

I don't deserve Aaron...I love him.

I love him.