10000 Hours | liskook

08| hiraeth

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(n.) a homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.
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Word count:1566

Partially based on true events :)

»JUNGKOOK«

"I can't believe we're finally graduating in a few days! After all the three years of living in dungeon, our asses will be free now!" Tzuyu cheered as the others seated in the cafeteria laughed.

"I know right, we deserve a treat for all the hard work we've done for this day." Mingyu added, side-hugging his girlfriend.

"Then what are we waiting for? We should totally party today!" Everyone nodded their heads in affirmation including myself, as I saw how Chaeyoung engulfed the girl in excitement. I continued to stare as she chuckled at her best friend's enthusiasm, hugging her back.

The girl I'm talking about?

Lalisa.

I noticed how delicate her features were, the way her eyes squinted whenever she smiled. Her laugh brightened up my mood, her presence itself was enough to light up my loneliness.

I had always been the so called cold guy ever since I stepped into the university. I wasn't always like this; my situations were. Raised in a family that only valued priced possessions than heartfelt emotions.

Before meeting Lisa, I didn't even have an idea of what was love. She was a transfer student who was loved by all students and teachers alike, simply for her sheer kindness, her smartness, the way she managed to make even a depressed person have the happiest of smiles.

I had my eyes for her the very first moment I met her - in the hallway where she was lost, struggling to find the way through the corridors.

Everyone loved her - but perhaps I loved her more than I should. But it was okay, I've loved her for three long years.

I'm okay if I'm just a someone in her eyes. Because it didn't matter as long as she was everything to me.

My friends Bambam and Mingyu introduced us. We have been friends ever since. The two knew about my feelings for her, even convinced me to confess to her before it's too late.

Sometimes, the feeling of confessing to her did cross my mind, almost desperately giving away. I was to shy and a coward for that. I was okay loving her in the dark and it would hurt if she can't return back the feelings and I end up making a fool of myself.

Nah, bad idea.

But today was a special day. We were about to graduate and I felt it was the right time to talk my heart out. The smallest of gestures between us in form of accidental skinship, eye contacts, bumping into each other, smiling back coincidentally erupted a plethora of emotions inside me.

I was slowly starting to fantasize about us being together. There were times I'd imagine us comfortably sitting near the windowsill with my arms wrapped around her, watch the starry nights as we made love to one another, have kids someday and grow old together. I went too far in my imagination and I knew this was something that was never going to happen, so I let it float in my delusions.