Ruby Red Tears

Chapter 1, The Flashback

1996  (The golden Trios 5th year)

The staff room was empty; most of my colleagues already went to bed, so I just sat there with Albus, Minerva and Sibyl - having a cup of tea. Albus hid his long nose behind the daily prophet while Minerva walked in circles. Earlier this day a mass breakout from Azkaban happened and everyone started to talk about it. The students of all houses asked questions and Albus Dumbledore our head teacher has been stroking his long white beard for hours. I myself prefer not to think about the fact that most of Voldemort's former army escaped our in theory safest prison. "Ffur, I think that in these hard times all of us should do something to make sure you know who won't take over our world again. You as our somehow Professor for the defence against the dark arts should continue to do your job as well as the former years but I also feel like it would be important if you could help the Aurors find Bellatrix Lestrange. As we all know she's one of you know who's strongest fighters and you're one of ours. If it ever comes to a faceoff we should be prepared and I think you are the only one who will be able to duel with her", my trusted friend Minerva McGonagall spoke to me. Sibyl stared into her teacup and Albus acted busy reading. I took a long sip of my earl grey tea, pushed my glasses into my hair and and answered her lightly exhausted "I agree with you. I see the dark times rising and I recognize the need to form a strong bond to defeat the dark lords army. But furthermore I don't think I'm able to do anything more than preparing the children at this point", "But Ffur!", "please don't interrupt me Minerva; I said I can't see myself doing anymore at the moment. Not because I don't want to, trust me I do. Minerva you don't seem to understand-I can't." I tapped my lower lip with my glasses and put them back on my nose with resignation. "What is that supposed to mean? You can't? You know that this sounds silly it seems as if you don't want to!" my colleague asked me slightly indignant.

Finally Albus looked up from the newspaper and turned his head in our direction. He leaned his head slightly to one side and spoke "Minerva, I think Ffurs problem is similar to the struggle I had trying to fight Grindlewald many years ago. I'm sure an intelligent woman like you understands it now." Minerva nodded to my surprise and I was wondering what Dumbledore might know about mine and Bellatrix's past and what about Grindlewald? Now Sibyl moved towards us and her chains jingled. I couldn't help but put my hands on my temples. I had to close my eyes because there were too many pictures flickering in front of them. Like through cotton wool I could hear Sybil asking "Are you okay my dear? Are you having a vision?" before everything around me seemed to black out and I didn't hear anything but rustles.

In front of my inner eye pictures moved. I saw a moving picture of the laughing Bellatrix with her curls whirling through the wind which got replaced by her moving her long nails through the thick black hair and touching her dark mark. Her dancing through a field and in the next moment her shaking Azkaban's iron chains. Laughter turning into screaming and happiness into madness. The face of the same woman over and over. Transitions from youth to age and from jauntiness, calmness, and love to fearfulness anger and hate. I thought I could smell her, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the smell of sweat and old red wine.

As I opened my eyes I felt the wet on my cheeks and the smell still hanging in the room. Everyone looked at me quietly as if they were waiting for me to say something while my throat hurt as if I'd been screaming and sobbing. There were still sparkling tears in my eyelashes and a throb in my ears. I brought a scratchy "Good night over my lips and left the staff room hectic, the tea cup tightly clutched.