Average Until Now

Chapter 6

Throughout classes I think of icy blue eyes staring right back at my brown ones, and laughing, having fun, and I'm so mad because of it. I can't believe I had fallen into the stupid cliche high school girl stereotype. Whenever I saw Daniel I got butterflies in my stomach, I had a stupid crush that I would have to crush myself. I didn't want to hurt Daniel, I want him to be my best friend for a long time. A relationship will ruin the friendship, and obviously a relationship from the 9th grade isn't going to last long. I almost want to beat myself up for having this conversation in my head, I'm literally a character form a low- budget high school romance movie.

As soon as I get into literature I feel relived, i could get lost into an ancient myth, a mere fantasy to get lost in. All that relief is sucked out of me in an instance. Joshua reading out of one of the books is sitting next to the teacher's desk, his mouth slightly moving as he shaped the words he was reading. "Okay class," Ms. Kay said, " We have a new teacher's assistant. Even though he's a freshman, he's read more of these books than I have. Let's give a warm welcome to Joshua Hoo..." Before Ms.Kay can finish her sentence I start thinking I'm going crazy... I mean this has to be a hallucination.

I need to go somewhere else, I thought  I was safe, I thought I could let go of my troubles here, this is becoming my worst nightmare. My beating heart is pounding so hard, I think there's an earthquake, and before anyone can stop me I'm out of the door tears pouring out of my eyes. Is there any safe place here? My feet pounding on the floor tiles as I run through the endless halls trying to find a safe place. I slide down a wall and try to pull myself together. Right as I'm calmed down I hear another set of pounding feet coming towards me. I can't bring myself to look up until I see Joshua right in front of me. 

My breaths quicken, almost too fast. The beats uneven I hear him curse, and ask me if i'm alright. I'm breathing too fast, I'm hyperventilating I realize. Then everything goes black, in and out I see glimpses of the florescent lights, when I hear Joshua mutter " I didn't mean to do this." What did that mean, does he know that I'm awake? How does he know that this was because of him? Why is saying this, when earlier he smirked when I started to pace out of the cafeteria? I try to say something but I'm still struggling to stay awake. I give up and give in to the black.

When I wake I realize I am in the infirmary, with the sertile white almost blinding me. I hear voices out of my room, voices that are fighting. Out of the small door window I see Daniel and Joshua arguing. I gasp, apparently loudly, and the two boys stop fighting. Joshua just walks away while Daniel mouths that he hopes I'm alright. If only I was as athletic as Jenn and the other girls, maybe I would have more than one friend. Speaking of that one friend, I may have just brought back tension from Daniel's past. I'm helpless in a situation that may make me lose the only person who I talk to.

I sit up and see a hand drawn card with stick figures all saying " HOPE YOU ARE OKAY!" On the back it's signed by Daniel, he drew a card for me within an hour or so, and my heart is filled with joy. I almost lay back down when i realize a post-it note on the night stand. i pick the note up and it says "Get better-J" I wish I still believed in cooties because I'm already seeing my future with my heart torn unnecessarily by boys. I take a deep breath and fall back onto the pillows, 9th grade won't be as easy as i had planned.