estrange ✶ huening kai

twenty-one.

walking through the aisles of the convenience store near her house, sora found herself sighing; something she had been doing nonstop ever since she decided to go through with the surgery. what made it worse was how soon it would be.

they decided on tomorrow. tomorrow would be the day that she'd finally put an end to her suffering. but she couldn't help but feel like it wasn't the right decision. however, nothing could be done about it now. it was either forget a few memories and stay alive, or die and forget them anyway.

the doctors allowed sora to go home for a day, as there would be a lot that she would no longer remember. so she took the time to walk through her neighborhood and see all the places that she and kai made so many childhood memories.

the park where they first met, all the times they'd sneak out from family dinners just to go to the corndog stand a couple blocks over, the streets they'd play tag in; the list could go on and on.

"that'll be 6,400 won," the cashier said as he bagged her triangle kimbap and banana milk.

snapping out of her thoughts, sora placed the money on the counter. "keep the change." she bowed slightly while grabbing the items, said a quick "thank you." and then shuffled out of the store.

it took a few minutes due to her slow pace, but sora finally arrived at the small park on the corner of the street she lived on, and took a seat at one of the swings. looking around, she realized the small playground really hadn't changed a bit. it looked almost identical to when she was a kid.

because it's associated with him, will i forget my memories here?

shrugging, she peeled open her food and began to slowly nibble on it, though she lacked the appetite for it.

"sora?"

feeling her blood run cold, she slowly turned her head towards the person's voice. sighing again, she internally scolded herself, are you an idiot? did you really not think of the possibility that you'd run into him here?

kai walked up and took a seat on the swing beside her, his smile warm as he gazed over at her. "how are you feeling?"

sora hesitated in answering. what would she even say to the person who's the reason behind the problems she's been facing? her eyes stayed glued to her lap as she opened her mouth to speak, "honestly? not very good."

kai remained silent, as it seemed she still had more to say.

"but.. i will be. i'll be okay."

feeling relief flood through him, kai nodded, his smile brightening even more, "there's the sora i know." he chuckled slightly as he reached out to lightly ruffle her hair, "that's a relief."

feeling her cheeks warm up slightly, sora turned and smiled at him; a real, genuine smile. "i've gotta go now, ning."

he nodded, his hand moving from her head to her shoulder, "okay. i'll see you later then?"

sora didn't say anything, not knowing if she could trust herself to speak with the lump that was forming in her throat. standing, she had only walked a few steps, before kai had called her name. sora turned back, her eyes widened slightly to try and keep her tears at bay.

sitting at the swings still, kai closed one eye as he reached his hand out towards her. he moved it back and forth, as a soft laugh left him.

"what are you doing?"

"i can't ruffle your hair from here, so i'm pretending!" he let his hand drop back to his lap, though his smile remained. "feel better, okay?"

"okay." she waved slightly, as she turned to head towards her house.

the tears finally fell as the distance between her and kai grew. that was goodbye, wasn't it? sora asked herself this, though she already knew the answer. and she couldn't have imagined a more painful one.

 a goodbye where only one knows that it's the last.