estrange ✶ huening kai

twenty-two.

"dad, i can adjust my bed on my own."

looking up from the buttons of the remote he was holding, sora's father sheepishly smiled as he set it down, "i know, i know.. i just haven't seen you in so long, that i keep wanting to do everything for you."

sora laughed softly, but winced from the sharp pain it caused in her side.

"are you okay? where does it hurt? do i need to get the doctor?" she only shook her head, laughing again at the antics of her father. 

"the doctor will be coming in a few minutes anyway." the room fell silent again, the two looking around as the seconds ticked away. "where did mom go?"

"ah, your mother went to go pray at the temple this morning. she should be back right as your surgery starts," her father informed, just as the doctor walked in.

"izumi sora?" the doctor asked, to which sora nodded, her eyes glued to him as she waited to hear his next words. "it's time to begin the surgery process."

sora held in her breath as the nurses rolled in a new bed for her to be transferred to. after the nurses helped her onto it, she turned to look up at her dad, who squeezed her hand a bit tighter.

"you'll be okay, sora." he gave her one last smile, then slowly let go while watching the nurses push her out of the room.

the ceiling went by quickly, yet sora felt like everything was going in slow motion as she stared at the ceiling tiles that went whizzing by.

so this is how it ends?

sora would've never believed that that one moment at the crosswalk would lead her to where she was now. that moment, where she fell into that fiery pit of first love. and now, because she was in there, alone, for so long, she's finally found a way out.

but is this what she wants? is this how she should end things?

sora internally laughed, as she no longer had a choice. as if i ever did. yuna liked him first. this is the only right way to do things.

as a nurse prompted sora to lift her head so that an oxygen mask could be fitted over her nose and mouth, she felt her eyelids begin to flutter close due to the anesthesia beginning to take effect.

so this is the bitter end to my bittersweet first love, isn't it? from the start, it was never meant to be.

letting her eyes finally close all the way, sora felt herself drift off.

i can do this. i will do this.

i am doing this.