the feeling of worthlessness; hoseok centric

1

there were always roles for their society.

there were alphas and omegas.

and then there were betas.

that's how the world worked with the sub genders everyone had. those of omega sub genders were worshipped for their ability to bare children.

those of alpha sub genders were worshipped for their strong manner and natural leadership.

those of beta sub genders found themselves at the edge of bridges and at the bottom of lakes.

they had nothing besides the title of being a beta. they couldn't bare children (women aside), they couldn't protect their pack (if accepted into one), and they couldn't help an alpha or an omega in heat as they were either physically unable to take or give a knot; cases in which they could were unseen.

betas were always last choice for mostly everything (not including jobs) and betas normally found themselves in relationships with others of the same sub gender because of a few sub gender issues.

betas had no real purpose other than to be a placeholder in packs. the other sub genders would never crave their touch. betas couldn't produce slick or nurture enough. they couldn't protect omegas as much as an alpha could. betas sat in the middle, a neutral playing ground that no one seemed to want to step on.

and jung hoseok carried the burden of being a beta.

he needn't be remind of his status. but whenever a pack member went into heat or rut he had found himself being the last option of comfort. as much as he wanted to help, they just wouldn't let him. they didn't crave for him the way he did for them.

this reinforcing his title of beta and shoving it in his face. what is he good for?

he sighed as he laid down in his room; his pack members helping jeongguk through his heat, poor baby.

he played around with the one stuffed animal he had received over the the 7 years he had been with this pack absentmindedly. his heart strings thinning as he stared at the photo frames filled with photos of his pack members. photos that had him peeking in from the back, or slightly cropped off on the side.

he loved them and they loved him too.

they loved him too right?

'hi hyung.' hoseok smiled, moving aside for the alpha who just returned the smile back. he watched as the seokjin grabbed a few water bottles and packets of chips before leaving the kitchen and heading back to jeongguk's room. leaving hoseok alone.

alone like he always was and always is.

'pack problems?' hoseok had decided to go clubbing, asking permission from the head omega who just grunted with a nod. hoseok doesn't think namjoon was listening, he never does.

hoseok eyed the beta who sat next to him. 'what makes you think that?' taking a sip from his drink before placing his hand over the top.

the male chuckled. 'trust me, all betas go drinking when they have pack problems.' hoseok laughed, the male was right. betas went drinking and talked to other betas who had problems with their pack.

'i can't disagree with that. what about yourself?'

'i'm here with my pack.' hoseok nodded, eyes a little wide. that's new.

'oh yeah? what's the occasion?' the male smiled before placing his head on the counter. 'nothing really. we're just looking for pack members. my alphas have asked me if i wanted to have another beta join me to try and even out our sub gender numbers you know?'

hoseok choked on his drink. 'i'm sorry what? are they asking if you want another beta so you aren't lonely?' the male laughed and shook his head.

'i mean partially yeah but mainly so i have another beta just like how our alpha has another alpha and the same with our omegas.' hoseok nodded, still confused. 'that's...nice i guess.'

'yeah it is. what about your pack?'

hoseok slumped over slightly. 'i'm the only beta in a 4 alpha and 2 omega pack.' the other rubbed hoseok's shoulder. 'oh, that's...i'm sorry. they worry over the omegas a lot don't they?'

hoseok once again, nodded. 'it's like i don't even exist.' his eyes grew sad, and his face turned a little pale. 'i'm sorry to hear about that, but it'll get better.'

hoseok laughed sourly before chugging the rest of his drink down. 'it hasn't been getting better for the last 7 years.' he ignored the way the other beta gasped. 'they haven't even marked me, hell, i'm not even sure why i'm still part of the pack. but i love them too much to leave and go nowhere.'

hoseok liked how the other listened so tentatively; liked how the other looked at him with such soft eyes that he hasn't felt on him for years. 'it's the feeling of worthlessness that reminds me that i'm still and will always be nothing; with or without them.'

'hey, you...you know it doesn't have to be like that right?' a hand found it's way on hoseok's face, the beta hadn't even realised he was crying until soft hands wiped his tears away. 'it has and-and it is like that. i have nowhere to go if i leave.'

the touch burned, hoseok hadn't been shown such affection in what felt like years (maybe it was years) and he leaned into it. 'stay with me.'

hoseok smiled sadly. 'as lovely as that sounds i don't know you that well.'

the other male smiled before writing something onto a small piece of paper from his jacket. 'what's your name pretty boy?'

hoseok felt himself blush a little. 'jung hoseok.'

the other male smiled before handing the piece of paper to hoseok with a smile. 'well hoseok, call me when you need someone to talk to i'm always free-

-oh, how could I forget? I'm Jackson wang, it's nice to meet ya.'