Chapter 19

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Misty POV

Mum has been with Jason now for just a little over 3 months. We absolutely love him. He makes us all laugh and he has kept his word about not trying to be our 'new dad'. He is also amazing for mum. She needed someone to help her pick up the pieces and Jason was dropped in her lap at the right time. It took them a little bit to get off the ground but now they are running and jumping together.

Now let's talk about the elephant in the room. Tyson. He hasn't spoken to me in just over 3 weeks. It's like he got experience in the bedroom with me and then has ghosted me. I have no idea what I have done but he won't answer his phone when I call or even text. It is like he has just disappeared off the face of the planet.

Laying in my bed I can hear all the commotion coming from the kitchen. Jason stays here most weekends and a few nights during the week. I can hear them all laughing and singing along to the radio, but I just can't seem to pull myself out of this funk I am in.

I feel nauseous every day. I have no energy to even get out of bed and shower. I pick up the book I am reading at the moment off my bed side table. Every Cloud by A.D. I feel like I can really relate to the main character Emma right now. I don't want to face anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone and I really like it this way.

I can hear someone walking down the hallway and stop out the front of my door. "Mis, baby, are you awake?" I hear my mum call through the door. I don't make a sound, hoping she walks away and leaves me alone. She opens my door and pokes her head in. Our eyes connect and she knows that something is up.

"Mis, are you going to tell me what is going on?" She asks me with a face full of concern. I shake my head no and will the tears the stay away. They don't listen and I can feel one drip down my face. Mum grabs my hand and pulls me into a sitting position. Just the motion of her doing that makes my head spin and my stomach gurgle. My mouth becomes very watery and I make a quick getaway to the bathroom.

I empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. My throat is burning, tears are falling from my eyes. My body convulses from my retching. I sit with my arms on the toilet bowl and my head resting on my arms. The tears won't stop falling. "Misty, what is going on with you baby girl?" Mum asks through the bathroom door. I am to emotional to answer her right now. She knocks on the door again and again, but I don't answer her.

I drag myself off the floor and flush the toilet. I move to the sink and rinse my mouth out with water. I grab my toothbrush from the holder and pick up the toothpaste. Squeezing the toothpaste onto the brush, attempting to wash this sick feeling and taste out of my mouth. As soon as the toothbrush is in my mouth, I start gagging. I push through it and clean my teeth. Spitting and rinsing once I'm done.

Opening the bathroom door, I come face to face with my mum. She looks at me and thrusts a box into my hands. The look on her face is a mixture of sadness and disappointment. I look down at the box and realise it is a pregnancy test. I look at mum and raise my eyebrow. We are having a silent conversation. She is telling me to not ask questions and just do the test. I am asking her why does she have it in the first place?

I close the bathroom door and take the test out of the box. I read the instructions and quickly do as it says. I put the test back on the counter. My hands are shaking. My stomach is doing somersaults. I can feel the beads of sweat running down the back of my neck. The vomit rises from my stomach up my throat and I try to swallow it down. The test seems to be taking forever to calculate.

In my head I am trying to work out the last time I had my period. Dates and numbers are all jumbled up and I can't think straight. The vomit feeling comes back and I quickly sink to my knees over the toilet bowl and empty the contents of my empty stomach. Again, my throat burns. There is nothing in my stomach apart from stomach acid. My head is spinning, my vision is blurry.

I grab the test from the counter and look at the little window. My heart rate picks up and I feel like I am going to faint. Mum opens the bathroom door and takes one look at me on the floor. I look up to her and the tears are falling hard and fast. The look on her face tells me she knows. Mum turns on her heel and storms out of the bathroom. Leaving me a mess on the floor.

I get myself up off the floor again, flushing the toilet. I bypass brushing my teeth and use mouthwash to get rid of the taste. I leave the bathroom after spitting the mouthwash down the drain. The test is wrapped tightly in my hand. I can hear mum screaming into her pillow. All I want to do is go in there and comfort her, but I know that I am the reason she is like this.

Moving back into my room is taking a lot of effort from me. I softly close my door and get back into my bed. I pull out the bear I was given just after dad died and I cuddle it close to me while I silently cry into my pillows. I know what mum is going to say and I have to agree with her. I have officially ruined my life.

Mum was lucky when she was pregnant with me. Dad never left her side, whereas, I haven't heard from Tyson. How am I meant to tell him that I am pregnant and having his baby. My whole world feels like it is falling apart and the only person I need right now is my Mum. The same mum who is disappointed in me. The same mum who will probably not talk to me now.

**

It is now later afternoon. I haven't left my room for anything. I am too scared to get up and face the music. I'm just about to roll over and try and go back to sleep when there is a soft knock at my door. Again, I don't answer. I don't want to talk to anyone. "Misty, it's Jason. Can I come in please?" I can hear him call through the door. I don't want to talk to him but maybe he can be the shoulder I need right now.

I softly call 'come in' out to him. He slowly opens the door and takes one look at me. I can see the devastation written all over his face. I don't know who he is devastated for. Me or mum? "So" He says looking unsure of what to say next. "I am so sorry Jason" I say, bursting into tears as the words leave my mouth. Jason moves into my room and sits on the edge of my bed, pulling me into him. He holds me tight.

"Your mum, she will come around. Just give her a minute to come to terms with it all" He says to me. I know he is just trying to comfort me, but it seems like everyone is forgetting that I am the one who is pregnant. I am the going through this too.

"All due respect Jason, but it's like mum is the one who is pregnant, and I am mad at her. I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry I wasn't careful. But can someone think of how I am feeling. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask Tyson to 'knock me up' and leave me. I didn'...." I can't finish my sentence as my sobs have taken over my body.

I remove myself from Jason's arms, laying back down on my bed, facing away from him. He gets the message loud and clear and leaves my room quietly. I can't control the way my body is reacting. I can't stop the tears from falling. I can't help the feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness and I am certainly feeling like I am a failure.

**

I have stayed in my room all day since yesterday. I don't want to face anyone right now. My stomach is growling at me. I know I need to eat but I just can't bring myself to do it. I think I am more scared of coming face to face with mum and having her yell at me.

Lacy comes storming into my room with a plate of food. "You need to eat Misty Lee. Don't be starving my niece or nephew" She places the plate down on my lap and climbs over me to sit next to me. "Whatever you decide to do big sis, I will support you, always" Lacy says. I throw my arm around her shoulders and pull her in close to me.

"Thank you lil sis" I say to her and kiss the side of her head.

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A/N

Just wanted to say a big thank you to AprilDunham

For allowing me to use her story Every Cloud in my story.

Please go and check it out if you haven't already

xxxxxx

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