Dipshits in Space: Season 10

114. Triple-gun bebop part 2: cowboy bugaloo

A woman covered in beige clothing, slowly slid the chamber shut on a rather unwieldy sniper rifle, zooming to the juice bar, as the wind ruffled her tattered hat. She checked her associate, adjusted for windage at the distant patch that was the town.

"Hey, bro...got a light?" Lawg asked Fluteman.

"Right here." he said in a smoky voice, flicking his lighter.

"No, I mean like a phone with a bright light. Dropped my keys, kinda dark in here." Lawg bluffed.

"I'm gonna stop you right there slick." he said, sliding his phone further from Lawg and into Gizzy's line of sight. "I know who you are, and you don't scare me. I don't care of you are the infamous Stash the Rampage. Nobody get's the drop on me."

"Got the drop on him." Gizzy whispered inter her com, palming her gigantic pistol.

"Easy dude. I'm here to cut you a sweet deal. You want this, trust me, let me do my speech." Lawg said, puffing his candy cigarette.

"Fine. You got 2 minutes." he smiled, placing a glass vial on the table and tucking it under the lip of the bar for safety and a quick-draw.

"I got a lot of guys watching my ass, I'm never alone. I spotted you a long ways off and you may be able to handle me, but can you handle a team of my men? Now hear me out. If you wanna do this the easy way, slide the phone my way, and I won't have to damage that sweet instrument you got there." Lawg muttered.

"You got guts saying that shit in here, but you got my attention with it. I'm listening. He said, lighting up and nodding the bartender away.

"Lawg, something is wrong." Gizzy muttered into her com.

"I got this." Lawg nodded.

"No you don't, you don't even know that THIS is." she warned. "I think it's a gay saloon."

"Gizzy, not now. I'm not falling for that joke and you're overusing it anyway."

"I know it's overused but for some reason you just attract this very specific problem. It's a Juice bar called the fruit-stand, there's 15 men in this saloon, zero women, and literally none of the men staring at my rack. That guy doesn't even match the height description of our target. Something is wrong." She growled. Lawg scoffed.

"There's no reason someone always has to get hurt, mister. Just two dudes making a mutual deal over some casual sax playing. If you wanna do this simple, pass me the phone and everyone wins."

"I like your cut, stranger, but I got 2 things to offer and one of them aint cheap. You here for the red-eye, or you here for me?" he smirked.

"Lawg, abort." Gizzy growled.

"Both. First the drugs, and then you, cowboy." he said, ignoring Gizzy.

"Shit, I should have brought Roy. The dialogue would be the same but at least he's not a dumbass, suicidally stupid invalid." Gizzy said, cocking the hammer and trying to discreetly take a better position for when the moving fan meets the moving shit.

"I got one vial, if you got the money. Show me the gold." the Saxy stranger said, blowing smoke.

"And then you'll come quietly?"

"I don't know about quietly, but we can discuss that somewhere else."

"Nope, I'm gonna stop this right here." Gizzy said, placing the gun to his head and interrupting the flirting.