Dipshits in Space: Season 10

117: The Last Episode (Part 1)

Gizzy sat in the upper den, staring at the flickering hologram display. Roy, Uka, Lawg, Marley and Izzy sat equally around the table, as the rotating image of Rayth, in transparent layered form, did it's slowly dramatic spin.

"Okay guys...this is what it comes down to. Just us 6 getting ready for the fight of our lives." Gizzy sighed.

"I hate everything this is, or could ever be, and I would like to officially protest." Lawg said, raising his hand like a student.

"Well, too bad you tiny shitlord, this is the reality of it. I just got word that Adrian is compromised, Rayth is aware of our locations, armed heavier and in control of a fully operation battle station the size of a small moon...made out of a small moon."

"Isn't there some kind of convenient air vent we can shoot at that would blow up a whole honkin moon thing?" Marley asked.

"Unfortunately no, dumbass, I designed the thing, so it doesn't have a gaping flaw any kid in a shuttle could exploit. The vents are timed in rotations so none of them are a clear shot at any point, the whole thing goes into defense mode and locks down at the slightest attack, and you can't fit a ship into any openings that would lead to the core. The core isn't even the only core, it's nowhere near the fuel lines, and it's covered in layers of armor anyway. Angry Bob is one of the most heavily armored objects in the universe and I've seen enough pop culture sci-fi movies to know better than install a self-destruct, let alone a vent opening, right up the ass, to the explosive core. You'd have to be an idiot to not correct that after the first mistake, and seeing how this is fully constructed, there's no gaps in the armor to fool us into thinking it's vulnerable."

"Can we disable the death-ray?" Izzy asked.

"No, I built 7 of them, the big one and 6 half-scale independent ones."

"Well, crapfart." Lawg sighed. What about just taking out the force-shielding and pelting it wave after wave of nukes?"

"Well if we had nukes, which we don't, and the energy shielding wasn't 3 layers or frequency rotating random patterns, which it is...then the 73 meter thick composite shell would still shrug off that attack like piss-ants."

"Windows?" Marley asked.

"There aren't any. Everything is hologram screens on the inside, and dime-sized cameras on the outside to simulate windows. This thing has less window support than Linux."

"Shoot it with a drop of turbo-matter and let it collapse into a black-hole?" Izzy suggested.

"Not even a real thing, and it would just cause a time paradox if it was, and possibly start this season all over again or some shit." Gizzy informed. "Basically the ship is itself is Osirian designed and Greg-reinforced to be unstoppable, unless you're already inside and telepathically linked to the system controls...which is connected to Adrian, an immortal unkillable Greg clone that's taken over by a Rayth personality."

"So we're just super-effed in the G-hole, basically?" Marley asked, already setting up his stress mini-bong on the table.

"If we attack the ship externally, yea, entirely." Gizzy nodded. "I can't even fire up a Greg without setting off hive-detectors and letting her know we're approaching, so we can't even 1v1 with an equivalent Greg, and the Gizzy is so underpowered to be stealthy, that in a fight I'd last about 9 seconds. We gotta think outside the box...and INSIDE the mind." She said, dramatically peering up and playing the ominous backing ringtone on her phone.