Dipshits in Space: Season 10

112: Internet trolls and rubber boobies

"Oh, hello. Didn't see you there." Gizzy smiled, holding her phone back for an aerial selfie view and revealing her slinky red dress. "What's that? A tour of the ship? Why sure, anything for the fans. As you know, we've recently gone into a bit of a covert status, but since you're on THAT side of the 4th wall, you literally can't nark on us to the Federation, even if you tried." she chuckled. "And with the plot inexplicably choked down to a crawl, what better time to use this miniature vacation to show you our lovely home on this episode of Dipshit Cribs. Pay no attention to this dress." Gizzy insisted, panning down to her dress. "This old thing was just lying around neglected and...well, laundry day, amiright? Celebrity Aliens are JUST like us, who would have thought? Now let's take a look at my new roughly 25 thousand cubic meter home." she waved playfully, gently nudging Uka out of the shot

"Hey!?"

"Piss off, human." Gizzy chuckled with a huge pearly grin, still framing her face and strolling from the docking ramp to the doughnut-hole center.

"Here we have the rather oddly designed shuttle bay, a roughly 60 foot diameter tube running clean through the ship. From here, all the living space and maintenance is accessible, and one side of the tube is currently under renovation because a very large electric walrus decided to add another ten foot ventilation hole in my damn ship. Nothing says efficiency like a gaping hole in something that floats in the vacuum of space. Thankfully this thing has redundancies, so the south side is still very much livable and most of the power grid is still running. The natural stone texture in here makes for a great cave-vibe, aside from the Tast-E-turd shuttle currently parked in it. I'm now very glad to have lined this area with 2 foot thick artificial stone, due to the large scuff marks where people can't seem to remember how to fly a shuttle. Life hack, always make your shuttle bay walls significantly beefier then the shuttles themselves, so when dickheads ram the sides, they only hurt themselves and not your ship. Life-hack." Gizzy grinned as Lawg stopped in the background, jumping slightly at the large dent in the Tast-E-Chill's forward headlight.

"When did this happen!?" he squealed.

"Moving right along. Follow me through the doughnut-hole. That's what she said. On the right side, everything is sealed off, hence the red sealing tarps. On the left we have the north side of the ship, where everyone is living now. The green sections above are retractable walkways which we won't be bothering with, and this gold railing is the main entrance. You'll notice a lot of glass and gold around here. The glass is all alumi-crystal alloy, nearly unbreakable, and the gold plating is...well it's gold, I like gold. There's a reason human myths about dragons have us sleeping on piles of gold and surrounded by women and treasure, I'll leave that alone. Couple of steps and here we go.

Welcome to the 4th floor living quarters. I went with a nice open feel for a spacious environment, even for us 7 and 8 foot monsters. Fifteen foot beam height, gold clad support pillar, light grey carpeting 7 person seating couch, all satin synth-leather, 168 inch theater screen with realistic infrared and UV, for those of us with good eyesight. Glassy guard rails, little kitchen area built around the fish-tank, microwaves, sink, stove, food printers, dish sanitizer, pretty standard aside from the gold accent and the black marble." Gizzy shrugged as Marley walked through for some chips.

"I like how the standard stuff in this bare-bones kitchen, is worth more then our other ship." Mar yawned, trudging along.

"...poor people. Aren't they adorable? I was poor once. It sucked."

"We're poor right now, ladybro. Who are you even talking to?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Gizzy smirked. "Anywhom, this place is just ripe with water pipes and fish tanks, so Menace can hoover around faster and have fun. You never know where she's hiding or napping or chasing goldfish. We have a lot of towel hangars in strange areas. Across the balcony opening we have a little game alcove or secondary TV area, 2 seater couch, 40 inch flatscreen, and behind that is the corner where the main elevator is, currently the one working elevator, and some stairs down to the 3rd floor, and up to Menace's little play cubby and another fish tank.