"Stupid stupid stupid..." Hyungwon has been angrily throwing pebbles from the shore, feet sunk in the dry sand.
"What makes you think it was relevant to mention you were an ex too huh? stupid Hyungwon" it's been going for an hour since the moment he left dinner.
All he did was felt ashame of what he did. He had no right to begin with---not anymore. Hoseok is already happy and Haewon was just.....well Haewon must've ate bitchiness for lunch during the day.
He sat down on the sand not minding anymore messing up his outfit. It looks like he doesn't have plans to walk back in anyway and casually chirp a "I'm sorry I got offended earlier so I threw pebbles to calm down" mustering a smile on his face.
He couldn't afford to look back at Hoseok after this. What guts has he have left to show his face anyway?
Sitting down while hugging both of his legs, he clenched a tiny shell as it gleams lightly on his hands. Broken.
As tiny,shimmering and sturdy the shell was, it cracked open.
That no matter how tiny it is that you can wrap your hands around it, it's lightweight as if it was nothing.
That no matter how shimmering it turned out to be during the night and plain dull by the day, no one often stays up late to watch it glow.
That no matter how sturdy its build, it's fragile enough to break in pieces by pieces.
And once it's broken, it can never be a whole again, but just another broken pretty fragments mixed on the sea shore.
Hyungwon clenched the shell harder as tears starts streaming from his eyes. Such tiny broken fragments could still pierce a surface of the skin, creating visible scratches and what looked like a form of blood droplets peeking.
He's tired.
He's tired being a sea shell, in an ocean shore full of other sea shells just like him.
He was just no one.
He was never different.
"Hey bean pole, you look ugly when you're crying"
Hyungwon snorts and throws another pebble, "oh yeah? ever heard of cows going to gym?" he retorts and continued throwing pebbles.
"never, why?"
"take a look at yourself, beef jerky" Hyungwon smirked and it took a couple of seconds before Hoseok purposely shove sand on him while laughing.
"Oh God, you're much uglier when you try to joke" eyes crinkling and fits of laughter emitted from his mouth, Hyungwon thinks Hoseok is more ethereal than the moonlight.
He tilted his head in attempt to pretend he didn't understood a thing, "joking? son, go drop the dumbbell and focus on giving us milk and cheese" he laughs with Hoseok this time, avoiding the sand the older keeps throwing at him.
"I am worth more than milk and cheese, I'm a whole damn dairy buffet"
"And I'm lactose intolerant, nice to meet you"
Hyungwon had to stand up unfortunately because the older refuses to stop playing with sand. "Bad cow!" He was grinning from ear to ear as Hoseok was too. They ran around the shore like two kindergarten children sneaking outside way past their bed time while having sand fight.
For a moment, he forgot Hoseok was also the reason why he felt like a fragile sea shell.
Because with Hoseok, he felt important. He felt different. That no matter how worn out or dull he may be, Hoseok was his collector who had eyes for him.
It's the eyes of Hoseok that tells him he's special. It's the way his eyes sparks differently when it's Hyungwon he's talking to.
It's always how Hoseok looked at Hyungwon as if he's the prettiest sea shell there is over a thousands of sea shells among the shore.
Hyungwon hates it.
Hyungwon hates the fact that it's always the same. Nothing has changed.
Eversince then from diapers to now, it's always Hoseok.
It's Shin fucking Hoseok. All along. From the start, till his end. And he's tired denying it for years.
But what about Hoseok? was Hyungwon his end?
"Okay please stop, I can't breath" Hyungwon exasperatedly fell on his knees, not caring how sand particles got into everywhere around his physique.
Hoseok seems deaf for he still kept playing around with the sand, purposely kicking more to Hyungwon's way.
"I'm serious, stop it!" Hyungwon whines as Hoseok was laughing loudly when tiny particles went towards Hyungwon's face and some in his eyes.
"Hoseok, stop..." Hoseok abruptly stopped when he heard the low pleads of the person in front of him. "Please stop....it hurts" Hyungwon was crouching, rubbing his eyes harshly as he attempts to prevent further tears to trickle. It wasn't just about the sand. It wasn't, not anymore.
It hurts.
It hurts loving you more.
It hurts to love you, Hoseok.
"Do you want me to stop then?" Hoseok crouch next to Hyungwon who can't further hide his tears. The boy nods in response as he hid his face to Hoseok.
"No, Hyungwon..." Hoseok leans closer as he held the latter's chin and tilts his face to face him.
He reached for Hyungwon's eyes as he gently wiped away the tears slowly with his thumb, while the rest of his hands cupped his face.
danger.
Dangerously close.
"What I meant is, do you really want me to stop?" Hoseok whispers as his eyes softly pierced towards Hyungwon's orbs.
"What are you talking about? Of course I want you stop throwing sand at me, bitch it hurts---"
Hyungwon rattled his lies that Hoseok just had to seal his mouth with his lips to stop him from lying.
The stars were shining bright whilst the ocean waves were pitch black and grey. The sand beneath them contrasts how bright the sky was and how dark the ocean was in between.
Just like how bright Hoseok smiles to Hyungwon , and then the dark eventually vanquish.
Just like tiny sea shells, they purposely glint to the dark because they are the shoreline's light.
Hyungwon is Hoseok's sea shell. He glints for him. He glints because of him.
"Do you really want me to stop loving you, Hyungwon? Cause I can't afford to do so"
Just like how Hoseok is Hyungwon's bright sky to his dark ocean waves.
Contrasting, but made to match for.
xxx
Hello! I missed updating and all of you! Please do comment if ever you still read :( I just missed interactions. I've been busy with my online art business and I sell wearable art btw hihihi comment if you wanna see so~
Btw, I'll end this book this year ^^
