Brute

Part 9

Joong

The sound of people's voices roaring. I was again winning the nasty fight. No spotlight, no press, no trophy to hold. It was a secret, underground fight. Booze were aplenty, illegal betting was rampant. Women. Do I care about all that? Not a bit. I was just using this to vent my anger to almost everything. It was good anyway. I could stop the hands of my father from harming me; he was shocked the first time I fought back; no more docile acceptance just because he was my father. My parents were so used to think that I just loved fighting with people. Back in the Uni, when I came back with bruises and injuries; they just gave an uninterested glance; sent the money to shut up angry parents whose sons suffered more damage and never once asked the cause for such fights. I was just a wild son. 

I left the Uni as soon as Nine left me. Nothing was there for me anymore. I only entered just because he was there. I tried to be understanding, tried to tell myself that it was the best for him; but it didn't lessen the hurt I felt. Since then, I became numb to any feeling of attachment. Nine said you didn't have to pay for friendship, boy, he was so wrong. All the people that surrounded me right now, did so for the dollars that they got. As long as you pay for everything, people would flock to your side. There's no friendship in this world. Only people who come and go. 

"Archen! When would you let go of the title? Give someone else a break...", the guy who got me an in to this world came and tapped my shoulder, smiling, for the money he got from all the betting, double since I came. I didn't respond and just opened a bottle of liquor to drink. The cool water to my dry throat felt prickling, and soothing at the same time. "Two weeks from now, there'll be another fight. This one, he has been aiming to have one on one with you for a long time now. The stake is higher too". 

I didn't care a bit. Sent me anyone, all of them would just be another punching bag, not a face for me to remember. My head was too full with the sweet face of someone who refused to dissipate even after two years. Initially, I tried to fight my longing by enjoying my life to the fullest; full not by all the goodness the world had to offer, but all the recklessness that I could try. But, after a while, it was no longer exciting, being out of my head most nights, and sleep or wasting away in the day, was taking a toll that weakened my body. 

So I turned to this. It suited me better, my body gotten solid, domineering with my height; and my anger got a better outlet too. Somehow, feeling the pain of receiving some punches; and giving someone else the same pain; released me from thinking of anything else for a while. 

"So, Archen? Would you do it?"

"Sir? Excuse me...Mr. Archen?", I heard my name being called and opened my eyes. I realized, the car had stopped at the front entrance. I must be too tired and slept on the way.

There're shadows under my eyes, I didn't sleep a wink almost all night, just spending my time looking at the sick person whose sleep was looking disturbed. Until he started to cry; that, had caused me to move near to wipe the tears away. He woke up, but then must had not realized that I was real; for his words was one that he said when we were younger. Though I felt liked giving him a comforting hug to sleep better, there're too many wires and lines surrounding him, thus preventing me from holding more than his hands. Yet, it was enough; for him to feel at peace; and slept heavily.

At first I just wanted to let it be, to let him remained thinking that I was just a dream. But, my feet that were walking almost out of the hospital, felt too heavy. I looked back at my hands that felt too cold. I was missing the warmth too fast. Not good. For all those years, I was not craving for such warmth. I conditioned myself to not hope for it. But now, a few hours that I had, though short, made me craved it, too much.

Without thinking, I ran to the nearest 24 hours convenient store, and bought a bread and a bottle of water, went back to the hospital and used the private ward privileges to send a special request. I was running out of time to wait; needed to go back home and rush to the office. Whether this was an olive branch; or a white flag; it didn't matter. I just hoped, Nine remembered what it meant, and realized my intention.

I shook my head, clearing up the traces of memories and dream of the past few years; and got out from the car. Jay was already waiting for me outside of my office. His demeanor, resumed back to the professional assistant that he was; and not that angry mother hen of yesterday. We had an early meeting for today. 

"Ermm, Jay?", I started, as we were about to move to the meeting room. 

"Yes, Sir?", he said looking calmly at my face. 

"I am a size bigger than you. Next time, bought the right size. It was damn tight to fit in", I said and sighed. 

"I know...". His answer caused my eyes to question him back. "I just wanted to torture your stubborn ass...a little", Jay said without any trace of guilt in his voice, inclined his head and signaled me to walk ahead. 

Damn! I really am too soft with Jay.