Brute

Part 37

Joong

I looked at Jay who briefed me the ongoings of the past week that I was not in. He looked better too, since I'd made a call to his mother, saying that the fault was mine and not Jay. Though, his mother still feel bad, and requested to see me to personally ask for forgiveness on her son's behalf. I'd yet to give any answer to her request, waiting to see how Jay was around me first, before making it more complicated later on.

"... Aside from that, the new project meeting had carried on as scheduled, headed by the Head of  Development Division, they will brief you tomorrow after the concept paper is reviewed and revamped. If there's no other thing in order, I'll excuse myself and if there's anything, please just call me, Sir", Jay ended the conversation formally and almost stood up to go.

"Jay...wait...", Jay sit back down and waited for me to continue, "the HR department... told me, that you were asking the procedure of resignation..."

"Yes", the answer was brief, direct, without further explanation.

"Could I suggest that you forget about our personal issue? Your qualification alone is on the top tier, Jay. Maybe, I did put the call for the interview, but the selection committee was the one who chose you. Please trust me, that I didn't interfere, except asking the HR to place you as my assistant once you were in".

"Hmm, about that qualification you talked about, although I didn't want to bring personal issue on working hours, I guess it is now related. I understood that you rejected Mae's offer to pay back my surgical cost, that even if I push the money in front of you now, you would put it back into my account. But, if ever you needed them, it would be immediately deposited as per your wish".

"Never!", I said, a little hurt. Jay just nodded and sighed.

"Alright. The second thing is about my Por's hospice fee. To be honest, my pay alone couldn't cover the best services they could give, although it's a little embarassing, but for the time being, I still needed that to continue, since they said his vital seemed to be stronger nowadays, to be exact, since his birthday. Maybe all those prayers and wishes did help a bit. I promise to pay you back in stages, once his medical need is no more...crucial".

"Your words right now, hurt me more than your punch did, Jay...", I said, my throat felt tight. Jay was distancing himself, when I thought there was an actual hope before, of reconciliation.

"I'm not finished. My education cost, I assume that you would also reject for it to be paid back. But, I still will pay it back, in stages too, looking at how much salary I will earn from my new venture later. But, I will put it as a monthly donation to Nine's school, providing food support for the needy kids, only if you agree. The funding that you give, could be used for the operational cost and salary".

"Anything more, Jay. What else do you want to pay back?", the sound of my voice was hollow now. The same feeling, this was the same feeling of wanting to curse the riches I was born with.

"I have one more debt, but I couldn't find a way to pay them...", Jay's word let me know what he was talking about, "a life could only be paid back with a life, so if you find any way to redeem that from me, just say it, and I'll do it".

"No. My mind is too blank right now, to hear the person that I thought as my brother, saying things that is making me feel liked I am indeed the poor one. This cursed riches only making me lose every people that is close to me, first Nine, though he came back...and now you. Would I be crazy to wish the same would happen too, that you will come back?"

Jay just stared at me, not giving any damn answer, stood up and left. Well, his silence, was loud enough for me to understand his mute rejection.

Jay

I walked out so fast, and straight away went to the rooftop. I screamed my lungs out till my eyes dampened. Joong was hurt, badly. I almost lose my will and relented. I punched the stone wall till my knuckles were red and then sat on the cement floor, leaning my back on the brick wall, closing my eyes and breathed heavily.

What should I do, Joong? The choice that was given to me was too heavy. Last night, the dark, corrupt officer sent again a warning. The list, he wanted them fast, or else something would happen, not to Nine anymore, his target was...my Por. This must be decided, after the person he sent to tail us, saw Joong went out wounded, and assumed that my relationship with Joong had been severed. So he pointed his bullet to a new target. How could I betray Joong just to save my Por, while still remaining to be his friend? I love both of them almost equally. Both give up something in their life, so I could live.

The list was already in my hand, his mother handed them over when Joong was absent, saying that she believed that I knew about that already, knowing how much Joong trusted me, and she wanted her inheritance as fast as she could to be out of the country. Thing would grow big and ugly, she said. The name in the list, only God knows how corrupted the one whom people put trust into; the leaders, lawyers, officers, public servants, ministers. Who in the name, would be willing to help our cause, if most of the supposedly upholder of justice, was the devil incarnate themselves.

I cried my heart out, and wished that everything was just a nightmare that will end.